Hi, im new here!

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Hi. Just wanted to say hello.
Im 29 and have just recently been officially diagnosed with atypical autism.

I have known since my late teens that I was somewhat different but managed to hide any differences I had until recently. After 10 - 12 years of constantly lying to everyone, it finally caught up with me. I had a semi breakdown and a period of depression which I could no longer hide.

It was a huge relief to me when I got my diagnosis as I would describe the majority of the last 10 - 12 years of my life as being a living hell. I finally came clean to my parents and one of my best friends. I thought this would be a help but infact it has been the opposite. I knew they wouldnt be able to fully understand my condition but I suppose I expected them to somewhat understand or at least make an effort to understand. Instead my parents seem to be in denial and my friend has accused me of lying to him about my problems for the last number of years, yet at the same time says that conditions like aspergers, atypical autism,etc dont really exist and I am just weak and should be able to overcome the problems I have.

The solution I have come up with is to agree with me parents that I never mention my condition and we go on like we have for the past number of years (i.e.) I continue to live in torment, but dont tell anyone about it, therefore it doesnt cause others any stress. In relation to my friend, I have more or less just stopped talking to him which is difficult because he was/is my best friend and I dont have many friends. However this seems like my best option at the moment as maintaining contact with him is doing me no good.

Im sorry fo the above rant. I also hope the "living in hell and torment" statements dont seem overly dramatic. However another thing which annoys me is the positivity i've read about on alot of forums/websites regarding aspergers, atypical autism,etc. I realise there are some positives but in my case, they are greatly out-numbered by the negatives. The reason I've joined this site is in order to learn alot more about the experiences of others and hopefully to share some of my experiences/opinions also. I know people on the spectrum will obviously have a much greater understanding of whats its like to be on the spectrum than neurotypicals.

Thanks for reading

Welcome, hope things get better for you

Hi.

Thanks for the welcome.

Again, im sorry if I came across abit angry and over dramatic in my first post. I was just trying to be honest.
Im still learning about my condition and it is great to find a place like this website where there is so much content I can relate to.

I see you are also involved with another website and I will have a look at this later.

Thanks again

I don't think you are being over dramatic. Living with AS can be hell and absolutely miserable. I'm fortunate in that my brother is also aspie, so at least I have someone to talk to who understands. It must be really hard having nobody, especially since it's so hard to make friends. If you ever want someone to talk to, you can talk to me anytime. I get really lonely myself sometimes. Also, I'm really sorry that your family and friend hurt you like that. It's hard when the people you think you can depend on let you down like that.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi: I'm new to this forum, too. I'm neurotypical but I have a young Aspergirl. We just got her diagnosis a few months ago and she is still reeling about it even though we are fully supportive of her.

I'm sorry your family is struggling and making your journey that much more difficult. Always remember that you are not alone.

And a question for you: the world of autism is new to me and I've never heard of atypical autism. Could you explain it to me? I want to understand.

Hang in there!

Hi!
I am new to this forum as well, and totally understand how you feel. I have been given the whole "You're just lazy, snap out of it" speech and it is never fun to have someone who is supposed to care about you treat you like that. Or worse, deny the existence of your diagnosis- I've had family members say they don't "believe" in autism- I have to admit, I got pretty angry at that one- I blew up and told her autism wasn't a unicorn or Zeus or what have you...
anyway, welcome to this place! It seems a veritable font of information and support- keep coming back!

Fleur

Hi Dkeliuot

Thank you for your comments & support.

As I am only recently diagnosed myself and there is not alot of info on the internet or in books about atypical autism, I am probably not the best person to explain it in a general sense, however I will try my best.

I believe atypical autism occurs when you are on the AS spectrum but dont have all the symptoms/characteristics to have aspergers or any other spectrum condition.

Basically (please note this is only my opinion), I look at atypical autism as being a milder or high functioning form of aspergers. Indeed, for the few people I have told about my condition, I do tell them I have mild aspergers because it seems to be better known than atypical autism. Also, following my diagnosis, the doc gave me a list of books to read and these are all aspergers related so the two conditions are very closely connected (that is probably a pretty obvious remark!).

Personally, I have many strong traits of aspergers including severe anxiety, social phobia, special interests, lack of empathy, very good memeory, higher intelligence (I like to think anyway!!)

Then I have milder traits like somewhat poor coordination, mild sensory issues (with food textures, tastes mainly), need for routine

Finally, what I think separates me from fully having aspergers is that I dont have a problem understanding body language, sarcasm, literal meanings, etc and many of my most severe symptoms only really developed in my mid to late teens.

Due to the above set of traits I possess, I would say that I am quite high functioning, so much so that nobody ever realised I had any problems until recently when I went through a period of depression and finally had to admit it. However generally I can work around situations and nobody notices my problems. I hope this information somewhat clarifies atypical autism for you.

I also hope that getting her diagnosis at a young age will ultimately be a good thing for your daughter, although she might not feel that way now. From what I have read, I think its a common assumption that the younger your diagnosed, the more chance you have of leading a normal life and learning to deal better with the difficulties aspergers may bring you. I think its impossible for a neurotypical person to understand whats its like being on the spectrum but listen to and support your daughter as best you can and im sure she will appreciate it.

I feel my greatest downfall is having been diagnosed so late and being so good at lying about my problems. So good infact that now when I try to be honest and explain about how i've dealth with stuff in the past to my parents or friend, they tell me im lying. Therefore it is pointless telling them anything truthful and easier to continue lying.

Hi Fleur

Thank you for your reply.

I have read your post "Greetings and Salutations...now what?" and I think we have both seem to have experienced the same difficulties.

I have to be honest and say, the "now what?" is also where im lost but I think coming to this forum is a major help.

Having this condition and going through the thoughts/feelings/behaviours I go through, I can somewhat understand how my parents/friend can not understand. Also I am quite high functioning and have worked around situations and lied so much over the last 10 - 12 years, that I suppose this really is a shock to them and they are maybe in denial. I always assumed that everybody suspected there was something different about me and it was obvious but apparently not. I had to bring a parent along the day of my assesment and my mother came. (My dad was completely against it from the start.) As we sat in the waiting room beforehand, she got really angry and said, "I dont know why we're here. Its a waste of money". I see now see that she had only came with me because she was convinced there was nothing wrong me and she wanted the doctor to tell me that so I would drop the subject.

It was a similar case with my friend, I had told him I suspected I had aspergers and even printed out the symptoms to show him. He read them and looked at me in disbelief. He would read out each symptom and say "But you dont have that". I would then tell him I had but he treated me like I was making it all up.

"You just want there to be something wrong with you because your too weak to get other simple setbacks" That was another thing I heard alot from both him and my parents and even my sister and shes a social worker.

Im sorry this post is dragging on and im not really providing much help to you. As I said, I think this forum is excellent and it really is a help to know others are in the same situation as you. I personally wouldnt be an advocate of telling others (as in friends, relatives, work collegues) about your condition. However that is just my experience. The fact that you seem to be more obviously different than me (really don't mean to insult you, I just think your symptoms are more severe than mine from reading your posts) may mean that it might be a help to you and others to know of your condition. Nobody seemed to think I was different, therefore telling them I was seemed to freak them out, whereas if people already suspect your different, then knowing why you are different may be a huge help to both you and them.

Just a final word of caution though. When I was diagnosed 1st, it was as a huge relief to finally know why I was different (as you also said). I have other friends, not as close to the friend I first told, and I planned to tell them all and thought how great it would be that everybody would know and I wouldnt have to keep lying constantly. It would be a weight off my shoulders and everybody would try to understand and help. However the reality quickly set in, that in my case at least, people dont want to know and by telling them, it doesnt help you and it dosent help them. So just be careful who you tell if you are thinking of telling people.

Again sorry this dragged on and sorry for all the brackets. I use far too many when im writing.
I hope this is of some small bit of help and feel free to contact me anytime if you want to talk. I have more info on actually getting a proper diagnosis and on some useful books I have read

Take care

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Sweet greetings to WPea



Mick and Peahawk

Thank you for all the welcome greetings.

I look forward to contributing to the site in the future and learning from the experiences of others

I'm in a very similar situation... My fiance (who loves me unconditionally) thinks I'm crazy for even wanting to get "checked out" or to find a "formal diagnosis" and says that there's nothing wrong with me. I kind of ran with it and said, "Well, I guess I'll stop going to therapy, then!" That stopped that line of discussion (although she loves me, she knows I need therapy because I have such a hard time engaging with other people (particularly new people) and get really disrupted when my routines are interrupted or changed... also, I use a lot of parenthesis... no worries there!)
Having a diagnosis can be wonderful in the sense that it can help you focus on areas to improve (having an AS diagnosis doesn't mean you give up on improving yourself!) while also allowing yourself to use your interests to your advantage. As an example: I have a hard time engaging socially, but I'm also a therapist... I also love TV. So, to relate to my clients, I talk about situations I've seen on TV shows that might help them to identify their own struggles through a safe medium (it's much easier to talk about Kevin Arnold (the Wonder Years) living down a reputation than it is for a client to talk about him/herself living down their own reputation).
In terms of telling people: At the end of the day, ask yourself why you're you're telling them. If it's simply to share/explain your experience, then keep going and to hell with the detractors! If it's merely to "excuse" (and please don't take this word as a negative) behavior that may be difficult for you, that's okay too, but be aware that (as you've clearly noticed) there are some who may not want to hear it and that will be difficult.
As you learn more about AS and the dust settles in your family and social life, I hope that you find ways to make the diagnosis strengthen the positive traits you already have!
Hope that was helpful and welcome!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!