Hi All
Am thinking I may have a problem with asperger's and always have had.
I just can't ask for help though . I never have been able too. I have a real problem with help .I need to do everything myself
Always been the same . I literary can not be helped with anything .It is very hard to explain to anyone so I have never really tried.
plus if people try and tell me what to do I just can't do it . It feels imposable , but if someone is nice and asks me to do something i will do anything for them , I just can't help it . I have been taken advantage of on many many occasions only to relise it later .But I still keep doing it . It never seems to come to me at the moment that person could be lieing or have a motive even though it should be obvious and it makes me feel stupid
Is this a problem for others?
I took the aspi test that someone put a link too and got a score of 177/200
Never took an official test ,been tested or anything. Am now forty years old Have been diagnosed with depression 15 years ago
I forced myself to try and overcome things by working in a shop but this just led me to slowly brake untill I just crumbled one day
That was when I went to the doc and got diagnosed with depression .I still was unable to tell them the real problems
that I have allways had.
I just don't seem to be able to get it out no mater how many times I see a doc I just can't seem to come up with a way to tell them what the hell is going on with me. I can talk it out in my head befor I go down to see them and everying seem to make sence to me but as soon as I sit in front of another person I just go to pieces and my mind goes blank. I just endup agreeing with them that it is all down to the depression . I have been to therapists but again it is the same so they try to treat my depression . This usualy involves trying to get me in more social situations . From there point of veiw this seems to work as I have learnt over the years to hide behind what I can only describe as a mask of normalcy .I tend to change my outward personality to match the people around me ,this has become almost normal to me but after I am just drained like it has taken everything I had to maintain the illusion . The main problem with this though is it has led me to be confused about who I am and all that seems to be left of my personality is sadness and self loathing