Hi WP!
As shown with my username, I am a fellow Aspie from Canada! I am a 20 year old male, living in the province of Ontario with my family. I have been a long time lurker of this forum, as I decided to finally jump in and join.
Since January of 1999, I have been officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. By the time I could walk, my mother had a sneaking suspicion that her baby boy was a bit off in his development. Some signs that she had noticed from me were that I only liked 'round' foods such as microwaveable pizzas and chicken nuggets and that I hated wearing certain clothing. I also liked lining my small dinky cars in neat little rows and patterns and that I hated the word "No" so much that I would actually get down on my knees and bang my head on the floor. And boy, did I ever hit it hard!
For the next few years, my mother would take me to numerous doctor appointments to figure out what was up with me and I would be taken to playgroups and social skills groups around that time, too. I was even taken to see a ASD consultant who would help me with homework, social skills and any other behaviourial therapies. And despite hating them so much, it did help me in the long run, and I am still friends with my consultant after all of these years.
With all of those therapies and groups, I think I can now safely say that I am doing quite well in life, while going through the usual struggle, here and there! I graduated high school in 2010 with my diploma, Ontario Scholar/Honour Roll, a World History award, an English award, and two bursaries. In my high school years, I had also received a Certificate of Merit in 2007 and a Canadian History award and Honour Roll in 2008.
While high school was wonderful academic wise, (Still have yet to go under 72% in all of my final high school and post secondary marks! That was in Grade 9 Math.), it wasn't quite the greatest for me socially. For the first time, I was being bullied and harassed by students and certain teachers alike for differences and because I was 'nice'. In September of 2006, my Grandfather had passed on from a 12 year battle with cancer, which dealt a huge blow to both my family and myself. My Grandpa meant the absolute world to me and not only was this the first major death that I had experienced in my family, but it was also the time when my biggest fan passed on. Ever since my diagnosis, my Grandpa wanted the best for me and he even tried to thank my old elementary school teachers and my consultant at my elementary school graduation, despite the pain. It was as if I was hit by a bus that day, and I do wish that he was here to see how I'm doing now. I know he would be very, very proud.
There was also the struggle of not knowing what to do for a career, which popped its' ugly head in Grade 12 Co-op. When they asked us what we wanted to do for our Co-operative education, I was confused and nervous. Not only did I not know what to do for Co-Op, but I also didn't know what I wanted to do for a career. I was freaking out!
My mother and my consultant thought that maybe I would like to work at a retirement home, since I like talking to older people and because of how well I take care of my dementia ridden Grandmother. Big mistake! I hated the retirement home. Not only did I find the work to be more of a volunteer position than a real work position, but I found the staff and the residents there to be rude and spiteful.
Once Co-op was over, I started to think of myself at a very, very bad light. I stopped talking to friends who were happy with their futures, I was being harassed a lot by my mother, and there were times that I just didn't care about myself, anymore. I was my own worst enemy. Sure, I may have made some huge steps in my life, but what good was it when you had no idea what you wanted to do for work?
From there, and despite not wanting to take their advice again, I agreed with my mother and my consultant on doing a Victory Lap/extra year of high school. From there, I did two University level history courses and a Co-op at a local museum. This Co-op was a lot better this time and I loved the staff and liked the work that I was doing, such as filing and organizing artifacts and books. But while I did enjoy it, I didn't think that I would want to do it, at the time.
After that extra year, I went to Conestoga College in Kitchener, Ontario, where I had taken a General Arts and Sciences program to figure things out some more. Despite doing very well in the program, (I made it onto the Dean's Honour List in both of the two years of the program, which the recent one being this year!), I had found the program to be a bit of a joke. Some of the profs were disorganized and unprofessional, some of the tests could be open book, and I just didn't feel that I was being challenged enough, at times.
And this program could have been a waste of my time and money if I did not make a good number of new friends and meet the love of my life. On August 30, 2011, I had gone to a open house style program run by disability services. I was arriving at the tail end of the program, which was because I was coming back from visiting my brother in Calgary. I had introduced myself and said where I was from, and it was at that moment that someone said that a woman, (We'll cal her 'R'), was from there, too. And that was when I met her.
R was this shy, quiet girl who was not only in disability, but was also in my program and at Residence! And after meeting each other more and more, we started to become best friends. We would carpool to and from residence thanks to our folks, and we also had numerous get togethers at her place, my place and at Rez. Mostly, those visits were reserved for watching movies together, which all started when R showed me a must see movie list book that she had in her room. At the time, and even still now, movies have been a huge obsession for me, and I had noticed that some of the movies that R had not seen were ones that I had at home! From there, we decided to go down the list, and that task was pretty fun to do! We even did a movie night every Thursday in the first and second semester, as we both picked a movie from our respected piles of DVDs and Blu-rays!
After awhile, I really started to consider my feelings towards her. Throughout our friendship, both of our families could not help but ask if we were together. Some of them had even assumed we were, too! We had both told them that we weren’t, as we were just friends. But after a very reflective summer in 2012, I had started to wonder if I really did love R. From there, I thought that we had the same ideals and interests, we have great chemistry together, we love each other's company, and she is sweet, kind, beautiful, smart, pretty and...oh my God! Right then and there, I had realized it! I loved R!
And after a good discussion with both of our families, I finally asked her out on my 20th birthday in October. During a very lengthy conversation, I had asked R if she was at all interested in me. While I knew the answer to this question, she immediately said yes. Apparently, she had feelings for me in December of 2011, but she never wanted to act on them because she got concerned over it. The closest chance that she was going to say something was in August, when she got back from a trip to the States. We had gone back and forth messaging each other, and she had told me that she really missed me and wanted me to be there. She was going to ask me once she got back but got cold feet and declined on the idea.
I had told her that I had feelings for her too, and I told her that we had really supported each other and got ourselves out of a lot of trouble in the last year or so. She finally yes to my question and we embraced, that night! What a way to celebrate 20, eh?
Since then, I have now taken charge of my life. I am now tired of fearing for my future and worrying so much. I am ready to tackle it and make something for myself. I have quit some lifestyle habits such as drinking soft drinks, I asked my work for a move up and I got back together with some old high school friends of mine who I was mad at for issues that I consider really, really petty now!
And, to add icing on the cake, I now know what I want to get into for work! I finally came down to the decision that I want to get into archiving, as I looked back at my interest in history and at my co-op at the museum, and as I thought more and more about it, I thought that overall, I really did enjoy it, despite the occasional boredom. Because of that, I thought “Why don’t you try it?” as that is exactly what I’m going to do! I applied to Algonquin and Fleming College in January of this year, as I had hoped for the former for a program called Applied Museum Studies. And after going through the usual application and a six page questionnaire, I got accepted to Algonquin on February 8th. R went into the same application process too for Algonquin and was accepted to the same program on April 2nd. We are both going to Ottawa and will be looking towards living together! We are very excited!
Yes sir, you can say that I have come a long, long way in 20 years. I look better, I feel better and I haven't been happier in a long time. Whatever your condition is folks, anything can happen but you do need to make it happen!
Any who, I look forward to having a good number of conversations with you folks! Talk to you soon!
13 May 2013, 8:47 am
