Help me help my boy please!!

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Hi everyone....first ever post so please be patient with me!! I'm the proudest mum to the most amazing little boy. But the medical world are passing him from pillar to post (I'm in the Uk). If I list his obsessions I wondered if you could share your suspected diagnosis of him? My personal one is Aspergers and OCD, but he's being dismissed at school as "naughty and behavioural problems"
Ok, here goes. This is my Sebastian (Seb). 8 yr old little boy.
- He's left handed. Has very illegible handwriting. (Good typist and extensive vocab though)
-He has to do EVERYTHING in a routine. Volumes of tvs, radios etc have to be on even numbers. Telephones answered after so many rings. Books and films read in order of date published. Curtains arranged a certain way
- He sets himself challenges and feels that if he fails them, then he has to physically hurt himself - I then have to physically restrain him (he likes being tightly held) but he's getting bigger and it's starting to sometimes hurt now!! Has to time his baths, his days...the list goes on. He writes lists and lists of everything you can think of
-Has no concept of "similes" If you tell him to "pull his socks up", he'll do exactly that
- He worries, so so much. That mummy's going to die, that the dog may die....he imagines the worst scenario all the time
-He does not have any friends at school, but does not seem bothered by this
- He often has nightmares
- He can obsess over something for days on end

I basically need to know two things.
One, is what to tell the doctors and teachers they are so blatantly dealing with, and
Two, how I can see the world through my wonderful little boys eyes. Please tell me any thing at all......I ache for him some dies when I see his anxieties take over him.
I'm very much against medicating him. Would prefer a CBT ish approach. Please Help!!

Sebs mum xx
-

he may need some meds to get him to the point where he could be amenable to CBT. this might take a while.

Take him to some doctors that specialize in Autism Spectrum.
Let them observe.
Let them ask questions.
They wont be morons (most likely) and will know what they're looking at.

by the way OCD is so ubiquitous to AS that I wouldn't seek a 'second diagnosis' for it.
OCD is usually concentrated on a half-dozenish things that won't change much during life (and surprisingly, not involve similar things) while AS is a perfectionism about nearly anything or everything.

I had a friend that was bogglingly OCD about his front door dead-bolt lock, but not about other locks, such as window locks or car door locks, hardly cared a wink about them.

Can you appeal to the “Little Professor” rather than the irrational child? He’s getting older and is probably a rational being by now.
If a penalty is truly necessary, maybe you can talk him into some point system or something that doesn’t involve physical damage
to himself or his mother. You can also give random hugs just because they're fun.

Sweet welcomes to WPea



From Mick and Peahawk

My psych describes the difference between OCD obsessions and AS obsessions in the feeling of doom (thinking something bad is going to happen) in OCD obsessions and routines where AS obsessions and routines are more of a this is fun/ distracting/ keeps me on task or not lost/ makes sense of the world/ ohh pretty. There is not much of a feeling of something bad is going to happen to me or someone I know if I do not do this.

Example: I line up all the cars in a grocery store parking lot. For 2 reasons: 1 (the major reason) the strait lines look pretty, and 2 it is a safety hazard to have carts in parking spaces, or for the lines of the cart return section to extend into the parking place,
I also avoid stepping on breaks in the sidewalk and floor patterns, again because it is pretty, it also breaks up the boredom of walking.
I eat the same thing for breakfast every day, this is a way of keeping myself on track and making sure I do not get stuck on trouble making decisions and sip breakfast.

My mom was different, she had routine because if she did not very bad things would happen. She had to bleach the floor every night, everything had to be put away before she could leave the house. This caused her to be late everywhere, even to important things like flights or almost missing my brothers graduation. She had a non-specific sense of impending doom that drove these actions.

My diagnosis is go talk to a real f*****g doctor. That is all, good day.

I used to do this from an early age, probably until my mid 30's. Imaginary straight lines and diagonals from wall edges, or anything that created a short straight edge. Then they went and and pulled up the nice smooth concrete and put in pavers. Way too many edges then, I had to get over this little obsession of mine.

Speeking of obsessions; I've had many minor obsessions over the years. Most were related to special interests which are usefull in that they create knowlage. The stepping over imaginary lines was one which got in the way some times, some times I'd just have to ignore it walk on. Hardly comparable to OCD I'm sure.



To Sebsmum;
Your boy sounds Asperger's to me. I'm curious just what the doctors say that they can't decide, and pass him on. OCD doesn't sound like much of a diagnosis to me. That sounds like a symptom.

I realy think you've got to NOT let him dictate all routines in the house. He has to learn that its not his world. Learning to cope with the world is essential, to cope with what the world will throw at him in the future. Get the learning happening. It'll involve screaming and crying, but he could, if not should, be a functional member of socienty when he grows up.

My opinion, others may vary.

PS, Anxiety is one of those things I've never mastered. And it seems a universal Asperger's trait. Books on socialising and relationships (in due time) will help to a degree.

Hi Sebsmum, and welcome!

There are a lot of people on here who know more about AS than I do, but I just wanted to tell you that our little boy like yours grew up into a big strapping 29 year old who lives independantly in another country and is making a big mark in his chosen career! You are into a big learning curve, but amid all the challenges don't neglect to find fun along the way!

If I can ever help, pm me and we can chat!

Were you in Australia, I'd refer you straight to Rocket

The founders tell me, though, that they started the company when they moved to Adelaide and their son couldn't get the training he'd been getting in the UK. So they brought some teachers out here... At least the site will tell you what to look for.