Gamati -- Rant

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Introduction

The resolution at which I percieve the world around me is very high. This high resolution has had an interesting impact on my life, and in the way in which I have, historically, communicated. For instance, it allows me to understand and take into account very subtle distinctions in meaning. This ability comes at a cost, however. Increased resolution means higher density of data. And with higher data density, comes increased processing time.

Thus, my interactions with the world around me, and especially with the social world around me, gradually began to take on an antagonistic role. As a child, I was less spontaneous than other children. I was susceptible to being interrupted, and this constant dread often set me on edge. Interruptions were anathema to my well-being.

I have often lived with the paradox of being percieved as both extremely smart, and incredibly stupid. In the classroom, where it was expected that I answer problems quickly and meekly, I was typically lacking. My grades were very poor throughout my schooling years. Nevertheless, I was never held back, and was always promoted to honors classes. Indeed, I must have been the worst performing honors student in the history of my school.

But nevertheless, the profesorial manner in which I spoke, and the critical distinctions that I was able to comprehend, were sufficient to convince my teachers and elders of any intrinsic merit, I suppose. Still... it's lonely.

When talking with others, I often find nonverbal gestures and cues to be an invaluable resource for communication. I have found that many people use body language and posture to determine, in a very general way, the methods by which they shall act throughout the conversation. I have even found that the actual content of one's speech will be interpreted in wildly differing ways, depending on the gestures and body-language that is associated with it.

Unfortunately, as useful as I find gestures to be when communicating with others, I often find them to be a blunt and crude instrument when communicating with myself. This is why I am lonely, I suppose. I am constantly hampered by the american social taboo against verbosity. It is like having to compress myself, my true, native resolution self, onto a lower resolution television screen so that others may understand me. It is certainly possible to do this, with some effort and mental contortion, of course. But that doesn't take away the sadness of it all.

In America, it is probably grounds for excommunication just to hint that one might be superior in some manner or way. America is a land where everyone is seeking to dominate everyone else. Indeed, the main past-time of this country seems to be thinking of ways in which one is superior to others. Naturally, this system works perfectly fine, so long as everyone is considered to be intrinsically equal to everyone else. But as soon as the conversation turns to intrinsic superiorities, in any domain, then the system becomes unhinged. This has meant a great deal of animosity throughout my life.

Of course, it would be absurd to actually claim any intrinsic superiority over anything. The very definition of "intrinsic" denotes a quality that is ever-true, regardless of the criterion that selects for it. Such a notion can only exist as an abstraction, and I am no exception. To use myself as an example, I do percieve things at a higher resolution than others. However, this can only be percieved as a superior quality insofar as a high perceptual resolution is considered desirable.

Intrinsically, however, such a quality or trait can not be the most desirous in all situations, and therefore a high perceptual resolution can not be "intrinsically superior". It can only be classified as such if the trait is more closely aligned with some criterion for "superiority" than some other trait.

To illustrate, my native "resolution" allows me to think very deeply about things. It lets me discern critical distinctions in situations that most others would not think to recognize, but it does this at the cost of time. In situations where quick thinking and action are to be preferred, I would most decidedly be at a disadvantage.

I suppose this is one reason why I operate better in isolation, amongst books and computer code. In order to design good, high quality, efficient computer programs, one needs to be thoughtful and detail-oriented. One must be able to percieve all the critical distinctions of a program and application interface before one starts to code. One needs time and patience, and needs to be relatively free from distraction. Such is the benefit that isolation brings, at the cost of social connection.

On the other hand, this type of mindset tends to make one desire deep social connections over shallow ones. Going to a night-club or social party, or a concert, does not suit my nature very well. Indeed, because I prefer to form deeper connections with others instead of shallow connections, and because the chaotic atmosphere of a night-club or a rock concert is not particularly conducive to the formation of such relationships, it can not be said that I enjoy those kinds of events at all.

Sadly, mass communication and interaction appears to be the normal and default case in the american switch statement(Programming Humor. Sorry. ).

Well. That's me, in a nutshell. I'm a brown skinned Mexican American, who likes Loituma Ievan Polkka and Weird Al Yankovic's White and Nerdy. I code in the C++ and Python programming languages, and soon I'll be able to do it in Assembly, as well. I speak English and Spanish fairly well, and hope to become fluent in German and Japanese with time and effort. I would also like to learn a couple of conlangs, as well as create my own.

I'm mostly functional in social situations. Indeed, socializing becomes a lot easier once you learn to keep your mouth shut. Although in my particular case, I suppose that simple fact illustrates precisely why I am so sad. Haha. If there exists a God, he most certainly has a sense of humor.

Thank you for allowing me to join the board. Hopefully, I will get to know some of you very well. Perhaps even make a few good friends. Thank you all very much,

Gamati

Gamati, first of all, welcome!

Yes, it gets lonely. But communication via the written word can proceed at its own pace: I think this is ideal for some of us. I hope you find that to be the case.

Thank you, Wanderer! This forum is actually quite a breath of fresh air, it seems. I feel as though maybe I've connected somewhere. If even just a little. Thank you very much.

Welcome!

Hi Gamati. I hope that you find the depth in communication and social connection that you are looking for. Welcome to WP.

Why, thank you, twolf! (By the way, what does deiynonchus mean? )

Welcome to Wrong Planet!