First steps into the water

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Hi all ... an Aspie friend pointed me at WrongPlanet last night, so I signed up.

I was born in the UK in 1960, and grew up partly there and partly in Northern Ireland until moving to the US in 1980. I've lived in Pennsylvania, Washington, California, North Carolina and now New Hampshire, and never once found a place or group where I really felt like I fit in. I was always the one on the outside of the circle looking in, the bird beating itself to death on the outside of the glass trying to fly in, the stranger more alone in the middle of a crowded room than anywhere else on Earth. I was certain all along there had to be something I was missing, that there was a rulebook I'd never been given a copy of, an instruction manual no-one had ever shown me, some secret level of communication everyone else was using without even thinking about it that was completely invisible to me. I just didn't have any idea what it could possibly be. A few times I even half-seriously wondered if everyone else on the planet, except me, was slightly telepathic, and nobody was telling me because they were too embarrassed at having a non-telepath throwback among them.

Then, after running across a few things online that started giving me some pretty strong suspicions, I was run through a complete neuropsychological test battery last September, and was immediately positively diagnosed with Aspergers.

Well, what do you know ... It turns out I was right all along; there really is a level of non-verbal communication that I'm completely blind to. And the reason I could never figure out what it is was because, well ... I'm completely blind to it. Duh. How's that for 20/20 hindsight?

So here I am, dipping my toes into a new pond, and wondering if there's time left to learn to cope with what I now know has been wrong all my life. I could have done with knowing this forty years ago.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Your intor is an eloquent statement of my life as well.
I went through so many decades being alone in the crowd. The ultimate outlander, and so aware of my difference, if not aware of what it might be.
I self diagnosed, 'twas easy, I looked into the world of the aspie and saw myself looking back at me a thousand times over. No bloody doubt. here i stand, among friends at last.
Welcome to WP! You are within your tribe here, and warmly safe.

Hello, I'm originally from NH. Alaric is a great name. If my last baby had been a boy, I would have named him Alaric.

I sure hope there are no Roman citizens on this board. They might still be holding a grudge against you for what you and your Visigoths did to their city in 410.

Welcome to WP.

Welcome to WP!! !!

There is nothing wrong you or the rest of the crew of the Battlestar Aspica.

I'm Fleet Admiral Adana, commanding the Aspica and my XO is KBABZ.

[quote="Alaric"]never once found a place or group where I really felt like I fit in. I was always the one on the outside of the circle looking in, the bird beating itself to death on the outside of the glass trying to fly in, the stranger more alone in the middle of a crowded room than anywhere else on Earth. I was certain all along there had to be something I was missing, that there was a rulebook I'd never been given a copy of, an instruction manual no-one had ever shown me, some secret level of communication everyone else was using without even thinking about it that was completely invisible to me. quote]

Welcome Alaric! This description of yours is so familiar to my heart.

Wow, Alaric, you said what I wish I could have said a million times. :-/