Where do I start? Hmmmm... Well first off, my name is Jason and I am from South Carolina. I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's but after looking at all the symptoms, I had a eureka moment! I originally started searching the internet because I have been having terrible anxiety, depression and sleeping problems. (caution...life story ahead) I was married for a short time about 5 years ago and my now ex wife started having an affair and her excuse was I was never showed emotion or acted like I cared. Moving on from that I developed another relationship with someone and ended up getting her pregnant rather quick so we kind of forced a relationship if that makes sense. After our daughter was born, she started complaining that I never show emotions toward her or our daughter. I honestly tried to and show that I had feelings and cared, which I absolutely do, but it always came out like it felt forced and unnatural. I deployed for six months and in that time my now ex g/f start secretly having a relationship with someone else. After I found out, she told me it was because I never showed emotion. I was obviously devestated because I tried my hardest. That brought on the depression. I have always had anxiety, especially in social situations. I have also had trouble sleeping for as long I can remember because I felt like I could never get my brain to turn off. Some other symptons I have noticed that make me thing I may have Asperger's is that I always hear stuff that other people don't, especially if something electronic is turned on the like the t.v. that is just on a black screen. I always notice that humming sound electronics make. I have always had a terrible time fitting in and making friends. People describe me as a loner even though I wish I was more social. My lack of empathy has also gotten me in trouble a few times. I tend to avoid people that have recently experienced loss because I always say the wrong thing and I just can't relate. A while back, I knew someone that his dog had just died and all I could tell him was that sucks. What else...I absolutely hate eye contact. It feels creepy to me. Don't like shaking hands or hugging people. I'm obsessed with astronomy, always have been since I was a child. There is more but y'all get the idea.
I'm currently deployed right now and don't have any friends or family back home to talk to and no one to talk to out here and I'm rather lonely so I'm hoping a can use this as a place to help fufill that void and finally talk to people that can relate with what I have been going through. Thanks for reading.
17 Jun 2013, 4:17 am
