Hello,

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I am about 45, a female engineer and married with one child. I knew I was "on the spectrum" for a long time but just recently, mostly out of worry about my daughter took the rdos Aspie quiz and scored much higher than expected (160 out of 200 although it counted funky). Subsequently I was diagnosed by a specialized psychiatrist.

As child I had a lot of the classic symptoms like hand flapping, excessive meltdowns, toe walking, clumsy, very shy, prone to overstimulation, noises and textures painful, aversion to body contact, uninflicted voice, and lots of social troubles, was bullied and excluded, hardly and friends...at that time nobody knew about Asperger or Autism.

I am not sure where I am or what I am today as a grown up. I stood out a bit even in Silicon Valley, have troubles reading social clues, remembering faces, multitasking, getting interrupted, still have super memory, and talents around numbers and computers. I offend people without knowing how and why. People turn away from me or start hating me for reasons I don't understand.

And my worst fear is that my daughter has to go through the same traumatizing childhood and adolescence I had, my 2nd worse fear is that she is neurotypical and just imitating my patterns and behaviors.

welcome to our thing you are among many folk in similar conditions. you are not alone.

Welcome to the planet!

There's not much to fear. If your daughter actually gets bullied at school, you can help her far better than your parents were able to help you. She won't be as unprepared and helpless as you were back then - hey, she'll have a grown up Aspie mom at home! Just imagine what would have been different in your own childhood, if you'd known an experienced Aspie who explained the NT world to you.

Thanks for the encouraging words megahertz... I know you are right and many of my issues stem from my mom not knowing and not caring what was "wrong"with me and why I was weird. Instead of loving me she just tried to fix me and press me into the normal mold... and of course I won't repeat these mistakes. I know in that way she is much better off with an Aspie mom than an NT mom, especially an ignorant one, but it's so hard for me to watch. I am homeschooling her for the greater part, as things did not go too well at school. In the summer though we found great camps that she loves.