A Newlywed Chinese (Aspie??) in Japan

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Greetings to all the inhabitants in the Wrongplanet~

I'm Semichi - a 24-yr woman from China and I've gradually come to believe that I've had Asperger Syndrome my whole life without knowing it. Since my new marriage's in crisis because of this and it's pretty much impossible for me to find out for certain in either Japan or China, I hope to seek help and be engaged in the Wrongplanet community and figure out my own way to own my life.

Growing up in China, I'd always spent time alone and didn't "hang out" with peers. It wasn't until I met my first & only boyfriend (now husband) in college in the U.S. 4 years ago that this changed. He has an autistic brother and pointed out that I behave similarly sometimes. He's an outgoing, sociable, and super neurotypical person. After being with him, my symptons has become less severe in a normal social setting but I still appear to be a quiet and awkward person. I don't know how to act smoothly, make or pick up signals, assert myself, or get stressed easily in social situations.

I have stark mood swing and totally shut down when I have conflicts with my husband. I often get into a cycle of acting out or insensitively -> fighting -> long period of silence (others think that I'm thinking but in fact I don't have anything in mind and get stuck in trying to say something) -> hopelessness -> forgetting everything the next day. I hope to stop this cycle by seeking advice and guidance on everyday life strategies for Aspies since i cannot get support while abroad. I don't have much trouble with making simple acquaintances, but it has been a hard struggle making deeper connections with other people.

Thanks already for any feedback you can give, and I hope I can help others too!

Welcome to wrongplanet! Sorry I have no feedback to give, sorry. I have a feeling you might get into situations where you will be helping others(mostly cause you put yourself in them).

妳好! 想不到這裡也有中國人

I am 40 yo, been married to a sociable and optimistic NT for 13 years. Growing up, my parents always thought I was strange and "anti-social." My husband says he knows there is something odd about me, I avoid social situations as much as I can, and I usually hang on to him for my dear life whenever we are at gatherings

I recently came upon Aspergers by accident. My husband and I both feel that I display a lot of the symptoms. I am in the process of finding a psychologist to do an evaluation. I want to know if there is a reason for my "oddity" or if I am just strange.

Looking back, when my husband and I were first married, we fought a lot, the fights were almost always due to miscommunication. As time went by, my husband learned to communicate with me better. The fights became less and less frequent. I am very fortunate in the sense that my husband has a high EQ, he is very patient with my quirks. He says over the years he has realized there are certain things I just don't seem to understand and he has learned to work around them.

I would talk to your husband about your concerns, and your suspicion of Aspergers. The better he understands where you are coming from, the easier it is for him to learn to communicate with you.

Best of luck!

你好
我是台灣人，住台北，現在要升高二。當初我也是自己發現亞斯伯格的
我那時在看一本書裡面有提到，然後我就跑去查這個新詞（我是醫學迷呀）
後來發現怎麼跟我一模一樣？！對呀！我社交有困難，我興趣很狹窄...
這不就解釋了「我」從小到大的疑惑嗎？？
這是兩年前的事了。我只是要說，知道自己是亞斯這件事真的帶來了一些正面的影響
所以如果可能，建議妳去找專家確診
相信日本這樣的資源也不少

如果你需要一些中文資源，我可以提供
以下是一些家長的部落格，內容很豐富
他們也有Facebook可供聯繫
南方璀璨的星星（網站）
亞斯伯格與高功能自閉之家
幫助高功能自閉與亞斯伯格

有問題歡迎pm問我！！加油and best of luck in everything!
---Jamie

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey Semichi,

welcome to Wrong Planet!

As for getting a diagnosis or help in Japan, there are a number of options if you speak Japanese, but even for English, there might be some contacts you could use depending on where you are. There are bilingual psychologists and clinical psychologists in the greater Tokyo area as well as in the Kansai area, so don't give up!