Hello .. new to the site

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xarrid
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 61

23 Jul 2013, 3:31 pm

Hello, I'm new to the site and I thought I would share a little bit about myself.

I'm a mid/late-30's male, who works in the IT field. When I was growing up I knew I wasn't quite like everyone else. My early childhood was a giant mess, father was military moved around a lot as well as physically abusive, so when he left when I was 6 I was really screwed up.

In elementary school, I was that child who say alone far away from the playground, never talked or socialized with others. When it came to school work, I never did any homework but always aced the tests, made my mother angry.

When I hit middle school it got worse, I no longer just wanted to be left alone, I now actively hated other students. I was always picked on because I was so different, I tried so hard to fit in but always failed because ... well I'm not really sure even to this day. This was probably the hardest time for me.

When I hit high school things got a little better, I always hung around the students who were older than I was. They seemed to take me under their wing and push me to do better. However I never really had any deep friendships, and my academics always had "issues". So finally my mother sent me to see a quack and a therapist, I got diagnosed as many different things and was given a wide range of drugs that never provided any help, with the final diagnosis ( at age 18 ) as being bi-polar.

When I graduated high school, I struggled for many years trying to learn to cope with the real world. Dropping out of college, failing at jobs, never really getting a foothold. Finally when I hit around 25 I was able, with the help of an acquaintance was able to get an IT job. I struggled holding down that job, but I learned to cope and how to survive in the environment. Never really fitting it, but I was able to thrive for over 10 years.

Most people I call my friends are people who I know would help me if I needed it. I don't talk to them very often, as I feel that would burden them. The highlight of my life is the fact that I have found my best friend, my wife, and am a proud father of a wonderful son.

Last November I went and saw my new therapist, I've always had one since that first one in high school. Most has just sat there like lumps on a log listening to me ramble for an hour each week. But this one was different, he stated that I needed to have a diagnosis for what is really wrong with me for me to be able to move to the next step forward. So after getting tested by multiple doctors (3 to be exact) the diagnosis of Asperger's was handed to me.

I could go on about the loud noises and bright lights, or about being bullied in school, heck I'm picked on/bullied today as an adult. I could go into how I can't stand lines, standing out in public makes me nervous. I could go on about the never ending twitches I have that I use to cope with situations.

I think I've ranted and ranted and ranted.. I could probably rant more... oh well.

Hi!