New to AS, new to forum

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Joined: 1 Nov 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,058
Location: The wilds of Colorado

03 Nov 2013, 1:42 pm

Hi, I stumbled across this site recently, and wanted to introduce myself.

I'm 57, female, recently self-diagnosed through talk therapy. Have been in therapy because my fiance was killed by a drunk driver a few months ago and I have been coping poorly, to say the least. He was also an aspie, and the first person I've ever known who I felt really "got" me, so his loss is doubly hard.

I'm on the fairly functional end of the spectrum - always been able to support myself (sometimes just barely) and do well in tech-oriented jobs. People and social situations still baffle me, however.

Hoping that by joining here, I can make other connections, because it's so darned hard to make friends IRL. Also, I live in a pretty small, rural town in Colorado, and, although it's a beautiful place, there just aren't that many interesting people hereabouts. So far, from what I've read here, it appears this forum is rife with "interesting" people!

Sharkbait
Velociraptor

Joined: 17 Oct 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 478
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA

03 Nov 2013, 1:59 pm

Hello, Eureka, and welcome!

WitchsCat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Apr 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,433
Location: Cleveland, OH

03 Nov 2013, 2:01 pm

Hi there! Welcome to Wrong Planet!

_________________
Black cat on duty

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas

03 Nov 2013, 2:35 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

And I'm very sorry for your recent loss.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas

03 Nov 2013, 6:38 pm

With social skills, I kind of realize that light touch and undertrying seems to be the coin of the realm. Although still very much a struggle.

And then I add specific skills such as a conscious decision to turn down my internal censor, so that the default becomes that it's probably okay to go ahead and say it anyway, unless it really jumps out at me as inappropriate.

And, if someone needs space, I try to be open to going ahead and giving them space, without the intermediate step of asking whether they should need space.

Eureka13
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Nov 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,058
Location: The wilds of Colorado

03 Nov 2013, 7:44 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Ah, yes, filters. The thing my fiance and I both loved most about each other - no filters required. That's what I miss most, and it's why I'm here - looking to find others with whom I don't have to keep those internal sensors cranked quite so high. That's exhausting, and at the moment I'm too beaten down emotionally to be around people who require that.

Nickysubanda
Butterfly