I'm 58 and just learned that I have Asperger's

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What a relief this knowledge that I an an Aspie brings.

My world just changed. Suddenly I have an explanatory framework for my past. I finally know that I'm not like this because I'm crazy. I suddenly realize that other people like me exist. My past is rewriting itself. I understand that my emotional distance, literal interpretations, social missteps, frequent information obsessions and the occasional withdrawal from the world, difficulty with bright lights and loud noises and general inability to understand people's motivations is part of a larger framework.

This knowledge is the greatest gift I could have towards my own self-understanding. I want to tell everyone (even strangers) because it is so exciting, but I realize it is socially inappropriate. So I will share it here where others may understand.

I love math. I love physics. I am a recognized and very good martial artist who has obsessively developed a combinatorial mathematical framework to organize and interpret martial arts in response to the inquiry of what is the inherent minimum necessary and sufficient structure of martial arts information that is learnable. It is the use of information as a dimensional component of structure. Yeah, you probably get the point, I don't think like most other people and they don't really get it, usually. To me the information looks like an oscillating dodecahedron and icosahedron. Yeah, I get why people don't get it, but that is how I see it. For me, it is a topological map.

I guess that makes me a member of this community.

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to WP

Hello, and an especial welcome from me, who got Dx'd at age 57!

Been there, done that. Welcome! There are a lot of us wandering gypsy adults just coming into Aspergia, after years of being hopelessly lost among the savage neurotypicals. In the five years since I've been diagnosed, the adult membership of WP has expanded considerably.



I don't know if it's specifically "inappropriate", but it can most certainly be awkward, when you feel a compulsion to share your joyous personal revelation and the people you share it with, instead of being excited and happy for you, move away from you as though you had something contagious, or were just lying. Or insane.

It can be a huge letdown that sort of puts a point on all the alienation and exclusion you've experienced your entire life. A real buzzkill.

After the initial rush of epiphany, I went through a bit of a downer period, as it sank in that if the explanation for all my struggles lay in the wiring of my brain, then the hopes that it might ever be any different were pretty much zip. Which of course, was a stupid thing to be glum about, because I had come to that conclusion on my own years before.

Having had plenty of time now to study AS thoroughly and get a handle on how it works and just how and how deeply and completely it has affected and colored my entire life, I've gotten pretty comfortable with it. Eventually, it sort of came full circle back to the attitude that I adopted from the time I was in Elementary school:

"I'm not like all these 'normal' people, I can't be like them and I don't really want to be like them - they're shallow, thick and dull. So I will wear my 'differentness' as a badge of honor and screw'em if they don't get it."

Hi, and welcome

Hi and welcome -- you're far from alone. There are a lot of people on here who weren't diagnosed until 40s, 50s, 60s, or older. Check out the forums for the adults of more mature years. Personally I was just officially diagnosed a couple of months ago and closing in on my 48th birthday. I'm no good at math or physics though (but there are forums for special interests too!) -- I'm what Temple Grandin would call a Word-Fact Aspie, constantly reading nonfiction and watching educational programs.

Welcome, Gurag. This place is helpful.

A little like Willard (though self-diagnosed), the initial euphoria (now I know why I'm like/I do/I feel this) has changed into frustration (what do I do now? what do I want to change? do I even want to make changes?). And frustration (if only I'd known ten or twenty years ago, what would/could/should I have done differently? would my life be better now?). I guess the biggest obstacle to contentment right now is not knowing what I want. Unlike Willard, I haven't reached acceptance yet. Eventually I'll figure things out and get my equilibrium back. That's what I'm hanging onto, anyway.

Merry Christmas

It was this time last year that I was diagnosed, with similar excitement

Me too, brother. Aged 46; I just found out (broke through my denial?) last week.

Regardless, welcome to the 1% club. Not the one you were hoping to join, I'm sure, but welcome none-the-less.

Hi Gurug,

I think most of us here can relate to that 'lightbulb moment' when the whole of your life suddenly gets explained. Watch out for the downer period that Willard mentions, it seems a lot of us hit that too, a little while after the initial diagnosis. But there are lots of us here who have been through it, so you always have somewhere to come and chat, and ask questions.

Welcome to WP

I was where you were 2 months ago with finding a part of my identity at long last, wanting to shout it out to everybody, the explanation, the joy, the relief. Whenever any down thoughts come into my head I go back and remember those feelings and feel all better.

Welcome fellow aspie

My partner wasn't diagnosed until she was 60 and, at the time, was euphoric at finally getting an explanation to some her 'differences' in life. As a result we both share and share and share because we believe everyone out there needs to understand about Aspergers to stop them reacting in the ways Willard says. The people who "move away" or treat you like you were contagious have the problem.

Conclusion - We believe "telling everyone" is not inappropriate and to this end we are building a website about Aspergers Awareness.

Hi. I hope you have a good time here. Self-awareness can lead to coping strategies that were unavailable before, or so it has proved for me.

Hi Guru, I'm also new to all this, and the forum. Willard, I'm in the place where I learned about it maybe 3 weeks ago, went back and forth on it for a solid week, then finally decided this must be it. The ripples necessarily go backward, to change the landscape and provide rationale for "the trouble" through the decades. I'm 51. Haven't worked in 13 years. It's like a phobia that nobody ever could understand. Plus the relationship difficulties (check!), not knowing things that every other person seems to just take for granted, the holey sheetrock and doors...

So putting things into perspective has been both liberating and depressing. "What now?" seems prevalent. That nobody in my family ever got me, beyond "There's something WRONG with you" makes it difficult to go back and review all those years, and I have to struggle with forgiveness all over again. But it's a relief, to be sure. I know this is right. I was diagnosed with ADD in the 90's (as an adult), as the possible reason as to why I could never stick with anything for longer than 6 months or so.

Anyway, like everyone else who ever registered here, I'm looking for information and people who are like me, should such a thing truly exist.

I am self diagnosed at 54,, i went though the elation period.. it was so good to finally understand why im so different and that Im not craxy but now im dealing with the fact that i could have been much more if I hadnt had this,, living in poverty or near poverty most of my life, lost of a career i spent 12 years preparing for..no real relationships,,I think what really bugs me is that IF I had known about this in my youth i could have chosen career paths compatable with the aspergers instead of trying to make myself into something im not.. oh well.. but the pendulum will swing back and stop in the center..