Coming out of the shell

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Hi all!

I started typing this thinking I was short on time and I'd elaborate later as needed, plus I can answer questions I guess? But I just had too much to say.

Fellow aspire here, diagnosed at approx when I was about... 13? I forget. I'm a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to digital media, having knowledge in lots of areas but no 1 true niche I excel in. My passions in no particular order are the Internet, videogames, video, animation, meeting with friends, and being creative in general. I'm pretty sure most have similar interests to me here?

Now for the part some of you will be interested in most, my own struggles with aspergers. It was clear from an early age that I was 'different' I had no empathy and was quite violent to anything that stood in my way. This was in infant/junior school times for me, but as with many of you I'm sure society felt no need to pull any punches. I was called devil child for a long time and my mother with her own set of problems was put under pressure, accused of bad parenting. I started receiving support, but it took several people before there was finally someone who didn't find me too challenging to work with.

From here I finally began to make progress, my reading and general education improved greatly. Somewhere in that process of progress however I had a life changing moment where I formed empathy. This hit me like a ton of bricks, just before I was 12 and starting a whole new phase in education. Paranoia from this empathy has ruined more then a few parts of my life so far, but of course no-one in school cared outside of my support worker because I wasn't a problem child anymore and to those who loved me I was incapable of phrasing how I felt at the time.

For better or worse I never once have been to a special school, this has made me better at holding conversations then most with 'normal' people, but also given me extreme paranoia about a lot of things. I have always chosen to not let people know my 'condition' which I guess could be argued is part of my paranoia, I've felt 2nd class even now to an extent, and I'm nearly certain I have undiagnosed social anxiety, effecting not only my social life but also my creativity, being more worried about offending then expressing myself.

I've done mostly volunteer work but more recently I worked for the BBC and now an internet business which is causing me a lot of anxiety for some reason? X.x my guess is its the fear that it's all I will ever do with my time and lose what little else I have or something.

And all of what I've said so far is abridged! I could have said more lol but yeah I will answer questions if people have any

I have come here to make friends, help others, hopefully be helped too and get over this fear/self loathing of who I am and social anxiety too... I hope?

Welcome Skaiser
I have a history of anxieties, myself, though not very much anymore.

A fellow brit woo! Honestly I thought I'd get replies from the USA first but I'm not complaining. Manchester huh? I'm from Essex! Not exactly an Essex boy though...

hah indeed - Well, there are quite a few of us from the UK here, too. And other places of course.

Indeed, I haven't had a major look around but... I think I've come to the right place? A lot of people with similar feelings and problems to myself.

It's strange, for a long time I haven't had to confront my aspie specific issues, just life in general or at least that's what it seemed like to me. No time like the present to get started on that!

Hi, i think you will find yourself to fit in here on Wrongplanet very easily. ^^,
Also people aren't as judgmental of one another here as they often can be on other forums.

I know in a way how you feel, i also experience some form of anxiety when in social situations, in addition as well as you, i also experience being somewhat paranoid on occasions, especially when i have to be in the company of people i don't know (making assumptions in my head about what people might be thinking about me is one of the typical's).

I must also tell you that you were not alone in being somewhat of a troublemaker as a kid. I was very kind, shy and careful at school, but at home if things didn't go quite as i wanted it to, i often ended up becoming angry and very frustrated. It's quite embarrassing to think about how i sometimes behaved towards my mom back then I don't remember much of it myself, but she has told me that many times when i got upset about something i would flee to my room, lock the door with a big *BANG!* then when she came to check on me a while later she found my window open, but no sign of me

And well, yes, once more, Welcome Skaiser

Edit: derpy phone is derpy, it posted the same thing twice! Don't worry btw I'm not a brony lol

Oh trust me I know plenty about the hate machine that is the Internet lol, it's probably the thing I'm most comfortable with, really want a job that I can work from home with cause it's Internet based but I got a way to go yet before can do that x.x

ROFL one of the reasons i quit Facebook

I think there are "not to hard to get hired" types of work were you get to work at home, but if you'r thinking more in the direction that you wan't to start a business on your own, then i can understand it might be a little more difficult.

Oh very much so! In a perfect world I think I'd like to work 2 part time jobs, one for essential money earning and another where I'm free more to... Experiment I guess and do creative things? Maybe being online so much has made me have unrealistic goals for my future ^^;

Btw I noticed something about journals/blogs? Perhaps I should keep more of my personal stuff on there rather then on here?

No goal is unrealistic. The only thing causing things to become un-achievable is our own mind. If you manage to have control of your own mindset and gain faith in something, then nothing is really unrealistic. It's only as unrealistic as you make it yourself

Blehr, what i wrote above came out as a mess, but hopefully you'll still manage to understand what it meant.

I have no idea about what those journal/blog things here on WP are, haven't tried it or searched it up myself.

Will have to take a look for it when get back, I just didn't want to fill this thread with mopping, rants and sad stories that's all.

All I will say for now is Essex (or at least this area) is full of people with no motivation, their greatest goal in life is having and raising kids and most of them can't even do that right. So I feel an even bigger outcast in that sense I guess, harder to test myself comparing to others when I'm one of the people in the lead if that makes sense. Anywho, yeah Internet love it, showed me the best and worst of the world and helped me form my personality. Now to just share it fully online and off x.x

Not to double post but I'm having a hard time logging in from my pc for some reason? I reset the password and everything still no luck

All fine now... So... Where to go from here? Lol

Browse around and see if you find any interesting topics to read and maybe comment on!
And welcome