new to it all.

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Hi all...
I'm new to the site, and sort of new to the idea of being on the spectrum. My mum tried to get me diagnosed as a kid; the diagnosis was never completed and I never agreed with her until very recently. Last year, I started working as a learning support assistant and this year with kids with ASD; I was also dating a boy I think now must have had Aspergers too. I think the thing for me that made me start to doubt my denial of my mum's diagnosis is the fact that the boy I was dating, and the kids I work with, are the people I have felt most connected to in my life. I also have a good friend who has Aspergers, I've not seen him for a few years, but I always understood his thinking where none of our other friends did.
I guess I'm here to try and learn more, to try and find out if I'm right, probably right, whatever, whether I should try to get a diagnosis and to try to reach the point where I can "come out", as it were, since this is still relatively new to me and has been something I have feared throughout my life. I think I am now reaching the point where I can come to terms with who I am, but first I guess I need to find out more about my "condition" and others with it. It's a scary thing to think that your mind does not work like most other people's - and I guess one that a lot of you will empathise with!
Also, I've always feared the diagnosis because I guess I saw it as being a weakness; lately I'm starting to think that in a lot of ways, it is actually a strength, too.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi and welcome to the site - I am new too and have only just been diagnosed. I have been AS curious for a few months now.

A similar story, my mother (and teachers at school) tried to push for a test but it never got completed. I always felt different from my peers and never properly fitted in, still to this day it is a bit awkward for fitting in.

I know what you're going through and a diagnosis might help confirm things but it doesn't mean you have to disclose it to people. It might make you feel more awkward than you did before!

My steps forward with people is to approach each symptom (for example difficulty in having small-talk) as a individual characteristic of you rather than labelling yourself as an Aspie and expecting others to know what makes an Aspie and understand you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi to you both! It's good to hear from someone in a similar situation
I don't feel like I don't fit in, I have managed to learn pretty well how to fit in, but it does take me years to get to the point in one on one situations where I can feel comfortable. I'm fine in groups. I do suck at small talk, but I read a lot and am good at remembering things so can contribute to most discussions; it's talking about myself I struggle with.
I think my main reasons for wanting to look into a diagnosis is for answers. There are things I find hard, which I'm sure are Aspergers related. For example, eye contact - again, something I can handle in group situations but not one on one. Listening is another thing I'm appalling at. I do my best to accept these characteristics as part of who I am, but I think at times I try too hard, push myself too hard, into fitting in. I guess I've fought against all this for so long that it's become habit to come across as "normal". I never ask for help, of any kind, until I reach crisis point, or beyond that, and as a single mother that doesn't make life easy for either me or my daughter.
I guess a diagnosis would seem to me like a communication card. A fall back. So that when everything becomes too much and I just want to put my hands over my ears and scream, I know why, as do those around me. Not something I'd give out to just anyone. Since I was a teenager, I've felt that I had to keep everything inside, keep myself shut tight, and I've done well at that, but I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I can be me, where it's okay to not be perfect, and part of that is in accepting where my limits lie, and the reasons why.

What does NT stand for? I know the term but not the origin.

Neurotypical

Only you will know if a diagnosis will help or not but it may not be the card you are looking for it will however help you judge your life in context so you can adapt quicker to situations and judge if they may be a problem to you or not.

Certain social situations tax a lot of our energy and being a single mum you must be running on precious supplies as it is!