Last resort before I've given up - hi

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, everybody.

I'm a neurotypical girl who's not typical in anything else (that's apparently the only thing I'm standard about, other than having two arms, two legs, seeing on both eyes and having all my inner organs intact), 30 years of age, from somewhere in Europe. I've been increasingly frustrated over my long-distance relationship with an Aspie man from across the ocean and this place is probably my last resort of trying to understand both him and myself (convos with an Aspie girl don't help much, as she's not like him in any way), to determine if our issues come from his neurological condition or something else.

So, thanks for accepting me - if you do - and please tell me where to post next.

I hope you get what you need here. Start by reading, it may help. My opinion, it doesn't matter if the issues are based on his wiring or not. Either the two of you love one another enough or not, either you meet one another's needs enough, or not. Either you can accept what he can't give and what he can, and vice verse, or it isn't meant to be. Not that the wiring doesn't matter, just I don't think prioritize it above your common humanity. Just use that knowledge to filter what goes on so you consider your assumptions of meaning carefully, as he may not show his true feelings as you expect initially. Once you know one another, you get to know how he shows his feelings, though. Just use the wiring to be careful what assumptions you make, that they are accurate. But this doesn't change what you, or he, need at all. That is whatever it is.

Thanks for your welcome, Waterfalls.

As for everything else - please, do not jump to any conclusions, as it's pretty complicated (and it was more or less the opposite of what you assumed); so...I was just wondering where I should post my thread.

I don't understand the question, or if there even is one?? perhaps you can start by stop making sence?? so far it's not working here. lol. I have a complete lack of understanding as to what you are doing here, and why you are having a long distance relationship with a guy you do not understand. weird. for instance, did you meet this guy on some distant planet, and fall madly in love? is there a 5000 mile string attatched to each other that cannot be severed? did you build a boat together so you can sail the seas of cheese? is he rich? are you? soo, what are you doing saturday night? stuff like that. ooh sorry, the last on was a pickup line. Oops.

Forget the Aspergers part. He is a man, and you are a woman. You may need to work on that understanding first. The second part will likely be the difference in cultural values.

I get it. Forget it, you are just a bunch of know-it-alls, putting the words into my mouth. Just like he does. I did not say a thing, yet three socially inept sexist strangers know it all.

There are a few NT people who come to WP.

maybe if you try the love and dating section of the site, you may be able to get some help.

Good luck and welcome to WP

Maybe consider posting in the women's discussion section, too. I wish you luck and hope things work out for you.

Noone was putting words in your mouth to be clear and noone was trying to make you feel as if we were being condescending towards you. We all have different backgrounds and different understandings. We all come from different cultures. Now consider that you asked for help, not just to vent about your frustrations. So I do my best to help.

And Aspie men and Aspie women are different. You already alluded to that because your Aspie female friend didn't help much in understanding. That's why i suggest understanding him as a man. There are certain books I read that help me understand the difference between how men and women work. I will ask if you have read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?

I'm sorry if I offended you, or made you feel bad. truth is, I really don't know what the heck is going on. for that reason, I will remain single forever. wonder if he feels the same way?

Hello, derailed, and welcome!