Greetings from London

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Hi all,

I'm new to WP and pretty new to the idea of Aspergers as well. I'm 29, male, English and was diagnosed around 6 months ago.

Until around then I thought fairly obliviously that I was doing ok with life. I had (and still have) a good job and thought I had friends, though I'd never managed to get a girlfriend and my family relationships were complicated. But it came to a head pretty much all at once. I started struggling at work but not understanding why (despite lots of attempts from colleagues at constructive feedback), spending more time at work to try to sort it out and less with the people I saw as friends (though I now realise that those friendships were all pretty superficial).

I had one actual friend (someone who actually cared and was prepared to spend time with me and help, rather than glossing over problems). She was the one who told me about lots of my strange behaviours and mannerisms which individually were just eccentric, but together were putting people off. She was also the one who suggested Aspergers, which led to me seeking diagnosis. She helped me a lot for a long time to come across as more normal, but that took a big toll on her and her pretty aggressive approach took a big toll on me. With this and a lot of other complications, we have unfortunately badly fallen out.

Now the work situation is ok (though generally very long hours), but I feel my personal life has disintegrated. One of the ways I think I differ from most of the other Aspergers people I have read about (I haven't met many so far, but hope to!) is that I really do want a lot of human contact. It can find it tiring, but the positives for me far outweigh the negatives. I want a number of close friends, and I absolutely want a girlfriend!

So I'm starting to try to get there. Hopefully I can find some adult social skills classes (have emailed some groups in London) as well as find opportunities to make new friends, and perhaps reconnect with old ones.

Looks like there is a lot of experience here. Hope to meet some of you!

Hello and welcome to WP

Nice to meet you! Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome

hello and welcome to wp.
it sounds like you are currently on quite a steep learning curve.
i hope you find the info and friends that you are looking for...
it can be quite a journey. persistence and kindness to yourself are a must.
i am in london too, and i'd say at least you are fortuitous in that we have more autistic groups and facilities here than most.
take care (and pm me if you feel like it)
sepia x

Not that the autism groups are any use.

Hi BMK,
Welcome to Wrong Planet.

uh-huh. well at least we have the luxury of finding that out, whereas many others are not even able to access these due to location.
BMK may find an autism group useful. i think city living increases your likelyhood of finding folk with shared interests, be that austistics or hobbyists to spend time with.

smudge, as an aside, i wonder if we were in the same group?
i was in one a couple of years ago, 5 of us and a facilitator, that ran over the summer.
i learnt a little about others experiences, but aspies in groups do tend to talk over each other and i frequently lost focus.
how was your experience, the pros v cons?

Thanks all!

The groups may or may not be helpful, but I want to at least try. I've emailed a couple.

Sepia, are they any you'd recommend?

BMK, the group(s) i have been involved with were via National Autistic Soc (NAS) and my boroughs psychotherapy dept. some of the one to one psychotherapy was good also. When you got diagnosed, did they give you an idea of what is currently on offer?
If not, you could certainly ask them.
The NAS HFA & Aspie group is good, though i found it very male dominated and most people were younger than me.
There used to be a London meet up group on here but I haven't been in the know about that for the last few years, but that is one i'd recommend.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome aboard

I too am different, in the sense that I seek social interaction; though still a challenge, I'm always keen to keep trying. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but am glad you were able to learn the truth, and find your way to us. I hope you find what you're looking for on these forums.

Sweet welcomes to WPea!

Hi, welcome to WP! I am also quite new here. I lived in London last year for my studies and every now and then still visit - I feel still connected to London! My hometown is Amsterdam.

I recognise what you say about friendship/human contact. I also want to go out or spend time with a friend every now and then (not as often as others, but still). It can be hard work, but that is a challenge!

Welcome to WP ! I am also male and 29 years old, living in the UK, and I think I should get a diagnosis.