Hello everyone, my name's Mark I'm 17 and I've decided to join this forum. I'm glad to be a member here in among a peculiar bunch of people who I hope have similarities with me and my difficulties and I look forward also to see who shares my interests, and if there is a somewhat similarity in the way my mind works neurologically with other members here on this forum. I think it's interesting stuff.
Well first off, ironically after writing that, I haven't even been diagnosed with Aspergers but as I am growing up more and more I am becoming more and more convinced that there is something just not right and down below I suppose I have written a bit of a testimony about how I came across Aspergers because prior to all this I had a rather stereotypical view on it and it never came to mind as a possible condition I may have. I hope that's how it's labelled?
Just to tell you all a bit of a summary about me, during my life when I was a lot younger everything seemed normal but as I got older I struggled very badly in areas socially. That seemed to be the main problem with me. I have heard a lot from other aspies about this 'acting' business and I suppose that's what I was doing and currently am doing to not look 'weird.' Anyways despite my socializing difficulties which I believe I had at primary school if I'm remembering that properly I was able to make a couple of friends. But as I progressed from primary school to high school it was a nightmare for me and the problem only became more real and real. I suppose back then I just labelled myself as very shy. I was bullied at high school and had next to no friends. I did poorly academically and I blame most of it on the bullying because I suppose it drained me and I felt like I just went to school for the sake of it and nothing mattered. Anyway, as I was in high school as an older person my problems really did start getting into the spotlight and I started informing my parent and it got to the stage where I was taken to a psychologist to go through CBT. After all the different appointments I had with him I labelled my problem in general as Social Anxiety and whenever my time with the psychologist ended my parent rang him one day and my parent asked what else could this possibly be and he replied that the only thing else mark would need to be checked out for was aspergers.
As soon as I was notified of this, aspergers basically got into the spotlight for me and I started doing research. I understand that the internet is full of information some good and some complete garbage but after looking at some good official health websites it really just started slapping me in the face and I am convinced that this is the condition that I have. I've been watching testimonies and videos of people on youtube with aspergers and I nearly find it scary how much my facial expressions and theirs are alike.
There are many traits that I have noticed are very similar to me from all the research I've done and from the testimonies I've heard such as : Well obviously first of all, socializing difficulties(And it's not just anxiety, it's picking up things like sarcasm, puns, certain body language features, and not actually knowing how to respond to certain questions or statements as if someones expecting a reply), sensory issues, problems with eye contact, getting upset at a change in routine for example going home early from college, lacking focus in for example exams(meaning that I run out of time) and there are many others which I can't just think up of right now but I know they are there.
I've also suffered from very bad depression and to be honest it has left me rather traumatized to this day, I would describe myself as very sensitive, shy, fragile, emotionally sensitive, feeling too alive if that makes sense, very lonely. There is really just so much I could write it would take forever almost literally but I hope that is a bit of an idea for all of you about me. I'm not scared to say that I would describe myself as a very affectionate person. I am so sensitive and I just want to know if there are other aspies who are also very sensitive and emotionally sensitive too?
I enjoy playing video games, watching sports, playing snooker, watching documentaries, watching historic TV shows, reality shows and anything to do with technology really.
I am here on this forum to stay.
I am going to be assessed for aspergers this month.
Last edited by MarkMcAlonan on 02 Jan 2014, 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
02 Jan 2014, 10:20 pm
