Hello, I'm Nick and I have Asperger's Syndrome

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Well, technically I have "Mild Autism Spectrum Disorder", because I live in the USA and apparently earlier this year Asperger's Syndrome was changed to a new label, although I'm probably preaching to the choir on this topic.

I've suspected that I have AS or ASD since I was around the age of 17, which is when I started looking into psychology because I knew that I was really different than all the other kids who I interacted with. But I was in high school at the time and having a very rough go of it and I didn't really know where to turn to for an actual diagnosis. I thought that I was on the spectrum again later in my undergraduate degree, but I was in a safe environment (Didn't realize it then, but a lot of ASD people go to my undergrad uni because it is an engineering, music, and science school with an art school close by). So because there was a huge number of people there who were on the spectrum, it's just, well, easier. Easier to make friends, easier to fit in, and easier to be accepted. Anyways, I am now in grad school, and I noticed once again that I wasn't fitting in very well, people didn't like me, I didn't really like the people, et cetera. Again, hindsight is 20/20, but I'd forgotten about the autism thing until my third year of grad school (Specifically, one month and one week ago). I watched a video on YouTube (I'm guessing a good handful of people have seen her videos) channel by the name of "TheAnMish". Basically it was just an accident, I couldn't remember why I had subbed her a few years ago, and so I started watching her videos. Finally (yeah, a bit late, I know), I was emotionally ready to find out the answer to the questions that I'd been wondering about on and off for nearly a decade. Last week, I finally got the news: I really am on the spectrum. At that point, I couldn't really say that I was surprised; I obsessed for a month about any information regarding the symptoms of AS and ASD, and basically a ridiculous amount of it sounded like they were written by my best friend describing me.


A little bit about me: I work in science (specifically physics, more specifically particle astrophysics and and high energy particle physics), which is good because I don't necessarily have to do the 9/5 thing, because sometimes I just can't work that day. I have several periodic interests, like cooking (e.g. Lebanese, Southern US, Cuban, Japanese cuisines, etc), building computers, pre-Prohibition cocktails (I love whisky, gin, and hate vodka), and I usually spend a non-trivial amount of time watching TV and playing video games.



Anyways, I'm here because a little over a month ago I thought that I might be the only person on the planet who's like me. Now there's a few million more than that. =) I want to meet more of my "kind", for lack of a better term. To be honest, the idea of dating has sort of been a reoccurring though of mine (I'm a hetero male aspie and, well yeah, I sort of fall into the stereotype; but I think that, like friends, I would have a much better time of it). More over, I'm kind of overloaded right now, I don't think I'm processing my ASD very well; I sort of don't know what "comes next". I feel happy to finally know, and I moreover I really am honestly proud to be autistic. I'm very high functioning, largely because of my intelligence, but even still, life in grad school has started to feel a lot like trying to push a square block through a circular hole. I'd definitely like to talk to people about how to deal with life and not become increasingly exhausted to the point where you have to take weeks off from doing anything just to recover from living ordinary life.


Anyways, hello everyone. I'm looking foreword to interacting with many of you. Feel free to ask any questions if you feel like it. =)

What's your favorite thing about ASD? Least favorite?

to avoid exhaustion, I limit the amount of time I spend with people. I communicate mostly online. sitting in a lecture never tired me out, but when I'm expected to converse, I need time to recharge afterwards. I take that time.

I don't have a single "favorite thing", but a combination of things. My favorite aspects of being on the spectrum are the ability to "zone out" into "my own world", my ability to see patterns that take people a long time to see, and having a set of special interests. All of these things have helped me immensely throughout my life. I guess these are kind of generic, but they sort of define who I am.


Likewise, there's two things that I hate equally about being on the spectrum. I hate that me being me offends people and makes them either dislike or outright hate me; over time, people usually figure me out and that I'm really not a mean person, but initially they assume I'm supremely arrogant, rude, or a know-it-all. Secondly, I hate that just living life when I'm not constantly around other aspies stresses me out. I definitely fall under the "actor" category, and the toll it takes on me some days is just... really exhausting. Last May it was really bad, after the end of the semester (I had a huge TAing load which required me to interact with students a lot) I just couldn't function for weeks. I kept it together until I could just stop functioning, but the longer that I do that, the longer that it takes me to recover.

Welcome

Welcome!

Hi there! Welcome to Wrong Planet!

From one recently-diagnosed Nick to another, welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome

Thanks for sharing! Your message was well-written and I applaud your grad.-school & scientific efforts. I'm 38 yrs-old, and, like you, made it through grad school and know how frustrating it can be to be in grad. school and feel like your classmates, although equally intelligent (just in different ways), seem to process life so differently. I also understand what it's like to not be ready to admit that, possibly, Asperger's might be to "blame"/the answer (thus delaying diagnosis and/or understanding). It was only less-than three months-ago when I began to research and understand what Asperger's is. (It's been quite an exciting three-months - let me tell ya!) It's good to hear your story and know that I'm not the only one going through this "diagnostic epiphany", right now. (I think it was bad that I "didn't know" for so long [all those years], yet, at the same time, because of the delay, I never had the negative opportunity to use the Asperger's label as an excuse and, it sounds like, neither had you, so congratulations on your accomplishments!)
Welcome aboard!

Greetings, Earthling.

Greetings, Earthling.