50 shades of messed up

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Hows that for a title? But it's the truth for me.

Oh where to begin? Well first off I'm "Astor" and while I picked the male gender when I made an account here, the truth is I was born a woman but feel like a feminine gay crossdressing man. There needs to be more gender options on this site lol. How about an "other"? Anyways I'm sure you can guess that my "gender" might cause me some problems on top of whatever else I have going on, trust me it does. Moving on from gender, lets pick my brain. Well I think I have Asperger's or something very close to it. Some family members have pointed it out to my mom and dad and they told me so after I came to them saying I might have Asperger's. On top of that I have depression, and anxiety. To the point I get panic attacks and stress headaches/stomach aches. It's hard just going out and being near people.

Which made high school a living hell. I'm 22, I dropped out when I was 19 or 20 (I also have a horrible memory). School was impossible for me, not only having to deal with other people and dealing with panic attacks but I couldn't understand much of anything. I needed extra help or lots of time to figure out things on my own. Needless to say my grades dropped fast. I finally gave up and called it quits. I thought I would try for the GED but tests...I freeze up on tests. Part of the reason I joined this site was in the hopes that someone on here might point me to some info about taking the GED when you have Asperger's. All my searching on the internet has turned up jack. I know that some people can fly through schools and test with Asperger's but others like me struggle. So I don't really know if there are special ways to take the GED test? I know for lower IQ's they have a different form of testing...I mean I know I have a low IQ but nothing that "low".

I just really need some help. I've been shying away from life in general and it's pissing my dad off. He just doesn't get that I have something wrong with my brain and need help. He's stubborn and even if I do have Asperger's (which I really do think I do), I still don't think he's going to get it. He want's me to do something with my life but how can I if i'm always afraid and sick?

Another thing I need help with is finding out more information about getting diagnosed. And how you go about getting disability from SS? I don't see me getting a job any time soon with the way I react to people, unless its a computer job or stocking the back room of a store...anything away from people. So I need help from the SS...my dad is retired and my mom has no job so we're really trying to make ends meet and I know if I had just a little money coming in it might help. Mainly I want disability in the hopes I can get the help that I need to take the GED. I mean on top of everything I think I have a learning disability...or maybe it's just Asperger's? idk...sorry if this seems not clear...i'm thinking about ten million different things at once.

I'm looking into getting SSD myself. It's not as easy as it seems. The waiting is the hardest part. I'm so depressed I feel as low as that time when I did try suicide. If you find yourself a disability lawyer, and tell them your issues, they will know if you're eligible for SSI and help you through the steps. That's what I'm hoping for myself anyway.

But you will have to jump through all sorts of legal hoops in order to get SSDI. If you already have a diagnosis, it might speed up the process. It also depends on who you get as a judge on the date of your hearing. Just make sure your attorney has all your medical paperwork. Also, be prepared for a lot of people calling you a lazy-arsed motherf***** once you get your award. (Why do you think I no longer talk to any of my brothers or relatives?)

I don't have the kind of money for a lawyer. And I don't think I could understand all the legal crap. Waiting I can do...I have nothing but time on my hands. I just have to get a doctor to say I have Asperger's or whatever to start the ball rolling. Free health care is a pain in the ass, I'm trying to find a good G.P. in my area and so far I've gone through like five. One talked to fast I couldn't understand her, another wouldn't deal with me and my depression, another messed up on a treatment, another retired (she was the only good one) and this last one won't deal with but one issue at a time and I have a huge list of medical issues to deal with, she drags her feet on getting me referrals, she said the pain in my side is due to a fatty liver but does fatty liver pain move from one side of my body to the other side? I think she was full of it. So now i'm waiting to see my sixth G.P. so far. Hopfully she will be the right one for once and I can get something done in my life ffs.

But that's off topic..blah.

First off, Most attorneys working with SSA are paid on a contingency fee basis. They don't get paid until you win your case. Once you win, they take 25% of the back pay due to you! up to $6000.00. If 25% is more than $6000.00, they can only collect $6000.00, as per SSA rules. They also may charge you fees for copying records from your doctors. SSA rules limit the maximum amout of copying charges to $25.00 per record.

As for a diagnosis, you need to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist that specializes in ASD. Since you are waiting to see a new GP, I'd also ask for a referral to a psychologist, as psychiatrists normally want to prescribe pills, and not bother talking.

Also, SSA does not consider Aspergers as a disability, unless it is co-morbid with something else, like bipolar or mdd or sad.

Welcome

Sorry, I'm not much help in the financial benefits department, but I'm always good for advice on other matters if you need any.

idk if I qualify for mdd. I mean I know i'm depressed as hell and that it's sucking all my energy away and I have 0 interest in anything except like gaming and even then it's meh for me sometimes. So I have depression but idk if it's mdd level. Also sad...yeah maybe since during the Winter I get very depressed...I have more energy during the summer and fall.

Would anxiety with Asperger's count as a disability? Because I know a doctor will say I have anxiety with all the stress I have around other people and making myself sick...

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