Hello, humans! (My first post here)

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Hello, humans!

This is my first post ever, so I would like to introduce myself.
Depending on your attention span and how long it takes before you get bored of reading a long forum post, I present you with one of three introductions.

Long story really short: Look! It's another new forum member! And she would be happy to be your friend.

Long story short: Hello! I'm a 19 year old girl who has been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, I'm a huge introverted science nerd, and my main obsessions are paralysis and anything that causes it, neuromuscular blocking agents, and poisons and how they work. (These are just interests; I would never intentionally use them to hurt anyone). I also love questioning the universe and the nature of existence, neurology, biology, and chemistry, especially organic chemistry. I also enjoy art, music, and video games. Nice to meet you!

Short story long:
I have lurked around this forum for years and intended to join at some point but never got around to it until now. I was diagnosed with Asperger's I believe when I was in 4th grade. I am now 19, female, and currently a science major in college. I hope to go to medical school and become a doctor after I graduate. Even in kindergarten, I would see other people making friends with each other and I'd always wonder, "How do they do that?" Over the years I've gotten better at social interactions, but I still consider myself a very shy introverted nerd weirdo, and I'm fine with that .

Unfortunately, I'm an extreme perfectionist and get upset and jealous of others very easily, namely people my age or younger who are more successful than me in my fields of interest. I also have never felt any supposed "connectedness" to humanity in general (although I do often feel connected with nature and all the atoms and molecules that make up the universe). With humans though, it feels as if their minds are all secretly synchronized and interconnected and they were born knowing exactly what to do in social situations, while I had to consciously make attempts to learn the best I could.

I am happiest when I am alone and at peace where I don't have to sacrifice my attention to mundane small talk and pointless conversations and can instead go off into my own world of silent thought and knowledge. I'm also happiest when I'm in classes at college. I want to LEARN something; I want meaningful conversations that invoke curiosity and interest. I could care less about "what's up."

I also have had obsessions for as long as I can remember. I don't think I've heard of anyone else with my current main obsession (which is awesome). My main obsession is with paralysis and anything that causes it, and I am also obsessed with poisons, especially those that cause paralysis or affect the nervous system, and any poisons that are used as medicine. I love learning and teaching others about neurology, nerve diseases, and especially different neurotoxins (and also poisons in general).

The main focus of my obsession right now is neuromuscular blocking agents, which are drugs they use to paralyze you during surgery so that you don't randomly move and mess up the surgeon while you're being operated on and so that muscles can be relaxed during surgery without the need for larger doses of other drugs. I have learned and obsessed about every single neuromuscular blocking agent that has ever been clinically used as well as many that haven't. I know exactly how they work, their dosages, onset time and duration, their side effects, their chemical formulas and molecular structures, and then obscure stuff like the date down to the actual day they were FDA approved. If one somehow gets brought up in conversation, my mind lights up with joyous excitement, and the happiness will often last an entire day even from just one simple conversation. It gives me great joy to teach anyone about anything I am obsessed with and answer questions. To me or at least to some part of my brain, paralysis is the most interesting thing in the world. Almost every idle random thought I have can be linked to it in some way.

Other than the paralysis stuff, I love questioning the universe and the nature of reality and existence, biology, pharmacology/toxicology, neurology in general, and chemistry, mainly organic chemistry because I love molecular structures. You know the picture of that boy on the Wikipedia page for Asperger's who is fascinated with molecular structure? Replace that kid with a teenage girl in college, and that's basically me. I also enjoy art, music, and playing video games.

And there are a few other weird things about me too, but I'm saving those for future posts

But anyways, it's nice to meet all of you And if you have any questions, I love answering questions and would be more than happy to answer them. If you want to be friends, I would be more than happy to be your friend as well

Your curiosity and enthusiasm are awesome !

Greetings Curare and welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Welcome

Welcome

Thank you for all welcoming me!
I can't wait to get to know everyone here

LoveNotHate, your profile picture is awesome.
And I see curiosity as probably the greatest driving force in my life, so thank you for noticing.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I will see my neurologist in the next two weeks, so if you want to know anything about neurological disorders, please feel free to PM me.