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Hi. I'm 35. Have always felt diferent, did not relate it to AS. Then for a number of circumstances, did a bit of research and it was a perfect fit.
My present life is kind of complicated, last year has been really hard. I do not have friends. I do not relate to my family. My significant half freaked whe we came to the conclusion this was the only possible answer to why I am the way I am. He determined either I do something about it or he's off the boat. That was not easy to hear.
After the weekend, I came to work. It's monday. It's the first time/day I am among people, so to speak, aware of the thing. I am freaking out.
I'm not a great fan of forums, must admit, but I don't feel I'm gonna make through this alone, so...
... here I am.
*fingers crossed*

Hi and welcome to WP. I'm yet another person diagnosed late in life and I have found useful information here even in the few days I have been active (long after I joined); the people are mostly helpful and support each other. I hope you find that too.

This is a site full of people who sometimes have trouble interacting with others, even online. Hopefully you'll find others here who are accommodating and can relate to your situation. Aspies are a diverse bunch, but we can often recognise certain traits in each other.

You can also talk to your doctor, or a psychologist or psychiatrist about getting a formal diagnosis. Some people find this useful as an adult, while others don't. It's not really necessary if you don't have trouble functioning in your daily life. OTOH, identifying Aspie traits can lead to strategies on how to better handle them. But even just talking with people who have AS can be a useful start. It's up to you.

Welcome to WP, and I hope you can get a lot out of being on this site.

Thank u both 4 the welcome. I hope to get a better understanding of AS, how to deal with it and most of all share experiences. I usually grab things by the horns, I mean, if a glass falls and breaks it more usefull to clean than to waste time moaning about it. This bull however is big. No one is gonna fix things for me, but it s a comfort not to stand alone.





"Long is the way
And hard, that out of Hell leads up to light"

Welcome to the Wrong Planet, capricasix I cannot imagine a better resource than the Wrong Planet. No need to take that big bull by the horns necessarily, but instead just ride it.

Welcome to WP.

AS is a neurological condition, so it will always be with you. But people can work to minimize the problems associated with it. I think as we age we get more tolerant of the things that used to cause problems -- lights, noises, touch. And after decades of observing interactions, we know a little more anyway what to say and what to do. When we don't get startled and forget and then blurt something out we realize afterwards wasn't appropriate. But I bet NTs do that too sometimes

Hi & tx LP and OP

I get it, AS it's something about the hardware and even with upgrades it will always have trouble with some info input. Age does help in many ways, and yes I agree one becomes more tolerant.

Why do I think I fit the profile?
Since I was a child I've always been "the ackward". I seem to speak a foreign language, because I the use words people don't usually use and sometimes quote films or books litterally. I read. A lot. I always carry a book. I find books more interesting than people. I remember things (like original passwords - random sequences of numbers and letters) easily. Sometimes, during a conversation with someone, something triggers an association of ideas that if shared, people find inadequate and I get the face "where did that come from?". I guess it happens to all every now and then, but I get that like 80% of the time. I'm also clueless to what people have in mind. My significant other says I'm the one human being he knows that has no evil. I mean what I say. Trouble is, it took me a long time to learn others usually don't mean what they say or say what they mean, ergo I'm very easily fooled. I'm like a child, and it pisses me off. Worse, a child would most likelly get there first. I get angry, frustrated and sad, not necessarily on this order. Being alone is fine. I have no trouble spending months without "social interaction". I can stay a whole day around a subject, researching, or a game, or a book, without speaking. And I don't feel the need to speak. Others find me monochordic (my voice is deprived of emotion), grey (I display no joy), inhuman (I display no anger or sadness). Nonetheless, I'm functional. I keep track of bills and stuff like that, even if I don't remember birthdays (I think that's reflex, 'cause I don't even pay atention to my own). I don't need anyone around for the basic stuff (work, groceries, etc). The world is not confusing, if you remove people from it or don't have to interact.

So...

I do that too! I find it easier to get across what I want to say by using quotes. I remind myself of Mrs. Who in A Wrinkle in Time: "But she finds it so difficult to verbalize, Charles dear. It helps her if she can quote instead of working out words of her own."

A lot of times I picture scenes from movies/TV in my head when something happens to trigger them. For example, when I'm feeling down about friendship, I picture Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's monster, the scene where he's reaching out to his "bride" and saying "Friend? Friend?" And her reaction. When I think I've found a friend, I picture the Monster crying when the hermit is thanking God for bringing him a friend or else I picture Tina from Now, Voyager talking to her father on the phone and saying with joy and wonder, "She's going to be my friend!"

Same here. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I've learned, though, not to say everything I'm thinking. But duplicity still amazes me. I have one former friend who keeps insisting we're still friends. Even though he never contacts me unless I contact him (which I do now only when I absolutely have to) and shows no interest in my life. I used to obsess about it too much (thinking why, why, why does he bother to say what he doesn't mean?) I'm easing myself off that. The only explanation I can think of that gives me some peace is that maybe he needs to believe it's true even though it isn't true. [insert relevant Galaxy Quest quote here. I'm picturing it in my mind.]

OnPorpoise: after snooping around some threads and swaping a few posts, what came to my mind was more like [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QdY4gfR7iY[/youtube]
... I didn't put it at the time thinking it might be misunderstood


I think Stephen is awesome, BTW!

(hope nobody got ofended, 't'was ment as a joke)

No offence taken.

It's the kind of self-deprecating humour that people use all the time here.

No offense taken here either! If this be madness, I prefer madness

"He determined either I do something about it or he's off the boat"

I'm still semi wordless, after seeing that. Any words I have at the moment, will be consored. If I were to address it directly. It hasn't easied any after having read this a while ago. And probably, still, my advice would sink you into a bit more trouble, at the moment. I am not noted for the best advice, just what I would do under the circumstances and I tend to burn bridges, big time.

Hi capricasix,

I can relate to your story, I only got diagnosed last year, at 38 years old.

My husband freaked when he first heard. What would people think? Who wants an autistic wife? Finally (and I can't remember, but this may have been a line from the book I recommend below) I managed to convince him that I am exactly the same person I have always been, it hasn't changed me, it's just now I have a name for what I have always struggled with.

I suggest you try to get hold of Rudy Simone's book "22 things a woman with Aspergers wants her partner to know". I borrowed one from the local library (you can usually put in a request if they don't have it on the shelves). I found it really helpful, and it's only a small book, so you should be able to persuade your partner to read it.

We both found it helpful in describing things I had not even realised were issues, and now we understand, it makes it easier to find ways to deal with them.

I remember well how stressful it was finding out I had Aspergers. Initially it was a huge relief, finally having an answer, then it was depressing, knowing I will battle with this for the rest of my life, now I am accepting of it, and understand myself a lot better, which I turn has made life a bit less stressful.

I hope your partner is just in shock and gets over it soon, and becomes more supportive of you. Of course, as you learn more, you find some ways to cope, but there is no cure, so there is no 'getting over it'. To be frank, there is not a tremendous amount you can "do about it", except keep trying and doing your best.

Good luck and best wishes.

Sometimes advice is not the most important thing. Sometimes it is enough just knowing someone is there

Last edited by capricasix on 24 Feb 2014, 5:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

So did Mr. Six. It's was a hard year and it took its toll. I think he might haved coped with things in a different manner under other circumstances.



He's very social. He's says I'm the easiest woman to live with 'cause nothing ever seems to bother me. If we go out, it's fine (I really make an effort, dress up and stuff); but if we stay home, it's great, I'm ok with it (and I'm not good pretending I don't prefer that).



Although I can understand his reaction, it was hurtful. One day I was a person with "special features", the other those features turned out to be "bad". I may have some less desirable features, but isn't that true for everybody? We're human after all.



I will *thumbs up*



Somethings just take time.
Not validating his reaction though. Not saying it was ok. It was not.



Thank you