If you're aware of it, and know that his traits are going to occasionally---or maybe even more often---frustrate you, and make you feel alone in the same room when he withdraws into himself or his interests, and you are prepared to deal with and accept them, there may be no need to discuss them with him right now. It may be something you have to kind of ease into down the road.
As you can see from my signature, I have a mix of both Aspie and NT traits. My Aspie traits occasionally drive my wife up a wall. She suspected this about me for a long time, and stressed over how to broach the subject. When she did, it wasn't any big deal. She didn't tell me anything that I hadn't already suspected about myself.
The big difference is that we've been together for almost 12 years, and each of us have failed marriages in our pasts. We're also in late middle age (I'm 60, she's 59). I've had a pretty successful career, and we don't really socialize much, and when we do, it's in small, familiar groups where I'm comfortable enough to engage (sometimes, I do engage too much, though, and monopolize conversations). Your situation is different. Give it some time. Maybe now isn't the best time for that discussion, but if this gets to the point where you're both thinking about a permanent relationship, maybe it would be best to discuss your suspicions with him.
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AQ 34
Your Aspie score: 104 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 116 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
28 Feb 2014, 10:05 am
