Diagnosis Experience

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I want to start with a simple "hi."

I've been checking out this site recently as I have fairly recently run into the term "Asperger's." All the symptoms just fit and it feels like a relief in a way to have an explanation even if it is not officially diagnosed. I have never been able to "connect," with people while socializing. Its hard to describe but I'm sure I'm not alone here!

I have a lot of questions but wanted to start with one. How were you diagnosed? (by yourself or someone else? when you were younger or older? did you believe it?) What was your experience and feelings about it?

This seems to be a very positive and supportive site and I hope to learn a lot (and maybe "connect") with everyone here!

Bonjour! I'm not French, but I get bored of saying hello. Welcome! (be grateful I don't know how to say that in French without googling).

I was diagnosed at 32. Two things running concurrently made this happen.

a) I was already seeing a psychotherapist for PTSD. First time I ever had access to any kind of therapist or a shrink.
b) My uncle was in the process of being diagnosed.

At 32 it suddenly dawned on me that there was a reason for my mental health issues / relationship difficulties, and that it wasn't entirely my fault.

I've noticed I tend to break down my posts into a) b) c) etc bullet points. How irritating!

Welcome!

Bonmatin to you as well! (goodmorning)

That is very interesting! Did you ever think much about it before the diagnosis or try to do research? Did you have friends or what were they like?

I personally have always been doing research but always ran into the term autism and ran into a dead end since I don't have full blown autism. My mother and sister are also autism specialist in schools so I figured they would have said something. Meandering around on this website has really made me feel at home with others that are diagnosed though! I can finally relate to others! It feels great.

Hi.

I'm new here also and came to discover Aspergers by stumbling on it more recently as well. I know for me it was a relief as well. I was officially diagnosed last year. Until then I always felt like I was broken, but now I realize I am just different.

That process started several years ago when I met some of my wife's extended family. I identified a lot with her younger cousins behaviour and interaction with others when I was his age. Later on I would learn he had Aspergers and after doing some research a lot of things in my life began to make so much sense. It was liberating. The last year has not been an easy one for me but I've learned a lot about myself and am putting the pieces together more and more.

I hope that your discovery helps you as much as mine has helped me.

Yeah I had considered it before the diagnosis... but I was so ignorant about ASD I don't think I even had the vocabulary to begin asking questions.

I had approached the subject with my father maybe 5 years go.

"Dad, I'm weird. I think I'm emotionally ret*d or something. Was I dropped on my head as a child?"

No son, you had a difficult uprbringing but you're pretty normal.

"Uhhh, OK".

(this may have been ignorance or even denial on his part. He's passed away now so I don't have the luxury of raising the subject again, though I have to consider that perhaps he was a shade autistic)

At around the same time I approached an Aspie friend and asked a similar question, noticing that we shared certain quirks in common. The response was something along the lines of

"No, you don't have Asperger's. You're an idiot!"



Had it not been for my access to a psychotherapist, I might still be wondering round pretending to be NT.

Yeah I have friends. Friends come and go (most of them go) but I still have a couple of mates that I haven't managed to push away. I go through phases, sometimes I'm social, sometimes I push everyone out of my life because I can't cope with them. I am grateful for these friends.

It is better to find out sometime than never I suppose! Both of you have said that it felt liberating to learn that. Did you feel that you stopped trying in social situations or pass some behaviors off as aspergers and don't try to fit in? I guess I'm a little hesitant to keep thinking about having aspergers because I don't want to give up and avoid new people and such.

It is a relief to associate with others who have the same issues though and have had the same experiences in life! My parents dismissed it as "everyone is on the spectrum," and that's where conversations came to an end. Also who have you told? How has that affected your if at all? Sorry for all the questions, this is just so new!

No, my diagnosis hasn't changed the way I behave though I have for some years not worried about fitting in.

It may however inform future employment and relationship choices. This is yet to be tested, as I've had neither since the diagnosis due to illness.

A diagnosis shouldn't change who you are.

That is definitely true. I suppose it all depends on whether or not you want to interact with people or not. For me I have reduced the amount that I interact on some levels as I always felt obligated because of my family. I have been drilled ever since I was young that interacting with people and making lots of friends and attending parties is how you be happy and have fun. All these things made me miserable but I tolerated them for their sake. Now I am much more comfortable and realize it is ok for me to enjoy spending time alone.

My mother specifically could never accept that something was wrong with me all my life. I was also in denial for a long time. I struggled and failed miserably numerous times only to be told that everyone is like that and I just need to try harder. I ended up telling only a couple close people. My wife knows and accepts it and her willingness to try and understand and be patient with me has been very helpful. My mother also knows but it has done little good. She believes it now I think and claims to understand while doing everything contrary to understanding.

It has changed quite a bit in my life overall. I can finally feel ok about being me, which has been a long time coming. A long childhood of peers and others tormenting me almost endlessly really beat down my self-esteem. I also understand a lot of my behaviours and my self a lot better than I ever did. There were so many things I was unable to put into words or explain to others that I now can with the help of reading and understanding Aspergers. For me at least, it changes a lot.

No worries about the questions, I know I spent hours reading and trying to answer my own in the beginning.

I was diagnosed very recently (age 34). Started when we had concerns that our son might be on the spectrum - the more research that I did, the more I felt like I was on the spectrum. I went to my family physician, and also a psychiatrist (both MDs) - who dismissed my concerns and said that I was more than likely bi-polar. I wasn't very satisfied, nor was my wife. So I sought out someone who specialized in Autism, a PhD. Had a few sessions with him, and then also spoke with a counselor. We came to a diagnosis together.

Since it is so recent, I am still unpacking a lot of things...and learning to be a bit more comfortable with the diagnosis. Which was a relief, but at the same time I am still at a point of 'is this real?'

Thanks for the answers! Yeah, I am going through phases of acceptance.... I know I will have more questions to come.