Hi there!

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I'm 36, live in Austria with my undiagnosed, suspected ASD husband (who's English) and my recently diagnosed ASD daughter, who is almost 8. Also have a 4-year-old son, who seems neurotypical. I joined to get a better understanding for how Aspies think and act and have already found a few very helpful posts.
I'm finding it hard to deal with my daughter's meltdowns and looking forward to learning more.

See ya! T.

Hi and welcome!

My family is the opposite of yours. (mom and son have AS, dad and daughter are NT) I like that there is a gender difference and that we are balanced.

My son is 7, also. And the NT daughter is 4!

Tell us about the meltdowns.

^
My family is like the OPs only grown up and I'm the autistic (adult) child. My younger sister and my mum are NT and my dad is either an undiagnosed aspie or has autistic traits.

Welcome to WP.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi and Welcome!

Hi! That's freaky - a mirror family.
Our daughter Nora has recently been diagnosed, my husband is self-diagnosed. Nora's meltdowns happen several times a week, mainly in the evenings, when she is tired, or when she's over-stimulated. Sometimes there is just no way to calm her down, and especially when we are tired as well, we get so angry at her that it's hard to stay calm ourselves. When I feel I'm getting really mad I usually just want to leave the room and cool down on my own. The biggest problem is, she won't even let me do that. If I get so angry that I leave the room she will completely freak out and run after me. I just have no chance of taking a minute to calm myself. She only does that when I get angry though, not with my husband. She is extremely attached to me and sometimes I feel it scares her when I get so mad at her. I just don't know what to do. I have tried to talk to her (after the melt-downs) to explain that sometimes I just need to leave the room to calm down and that I'll come back after a few minutes. I have asked her to let me go when I am angry, because I don't want to lose control of myself. When I talk to her she seems to understand, but the next time it will happen again. Any ideas on that?

Can you both take smaller breaks through out the day?

I get off work in time to pick my kids up from school. Pick up time is especially daunting for me so we talk about school on the way home, but as soon as we get home, the kids play quietly in the living room, and I go to my room for about 30 minutes. I think they need it too. Some mindless down time.

We have a calm place that my kids call the "peace fort" in our house. It's never used as punishment (time out takes place somewhere else). If anyone is feeling overwhelmed, they can go there to be alone.

My AS son used to need to spend hours everyday in the sandbox outside. When he got that time, he seemed regulated and happy and calm. Help your daughter find her own unique mix of things she needs.

Welcome