It sounds to me like you've been introduced into a world that doesn't make sense to you, where you just don't fit in. Maybe this has made you scared, confused, angry, and maybe you have started hating yourself for being unable to cope. Have you considered that there's nothing wrong with you, that there's something wrong with the world? I know, that last part sounds really egomaniac, but there's a reason this site is called "Wrong Planet". When a human being experiences that all their natural thoughts and impulses are considered "wrong" by their peers, then that breaks something inside that person. But that "something" can be repaired.
You may or may not have Asperger syndrome, you need a qualified psychologist to make an assessment for you. If it turns out you do have Asperger syndrome, then that will more or less answer every question you have ever had. If it turns out you don't, that will also help you make sense of the world and your place in it. It's an important first step.
Send me a PM if you feel like you need to talk to someone about what you're feeling.
10 Apr 2014, 12:00 am
welcome to the club 
