To try to get diagnosed or not?

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Hi, this is my first post here.

I'm a 60yr old male, living in Scotland. For a long time I've thought my main problem was depression, along with anxiety and low self-esteem. But I've also had a vague suspicion I might be slightly aspie (though I've only just learned that word).

The other day I watched a tv documentary on autism and something really struck me. A woman said she never missed people -- she might prefer someone's presence rather than their absence, but she didn't have that particular feeling of missing people that NTs (just learned that as well) seem to have. (Other things struck me too but that was the most powerful.)

That's me! Or I think so anyway. I'm extremely bad at keeping in touch with people who've moved away, or if I've moved. Well, I'm terrible at relationships generally. Very few friends, seemingly getting ever fewer, sexual relationships I'll say nothing about because it's REALLY complicated. I live and work alone, self-employed, with a very low income because I'm not a natural business type, I just find being my own boss infinitely preferable. To be honest I've only survived financially due to inheritances. I'm quite intelligent (BA Hons and two MScs) and have some musical talent, maybe also in other areas of the arts, but I tend not to be motivated to do much with these things, especially not socially.

My parents had their own problems. I've studied psychology and I'm fairly clear on tracing my depression, anxiety and low self-esteem back to my early experiences. But maybe ASD would be another significant jigsaw puzzle piece.

The problem with diagnosis is that both my parents are dead, my only sibling is eight years younger, and I have no school reports, so there's no childhood evidence. I was surprised when I learned that's needed, I assumed it would be just tests and interviews -- but maybe the childhood stuff isn't always required?

Or maybe I don't need a diagnosis anyway? The only real benefit I can think of is being able to mix and compare experiences with others like myself, would an official diagnosis make much difference there? Maybe the forums are all I need!

By the way, I also tend to be a bit obsessive. For instance I've spent many, many hours thinking about my firewood seasoning arrangements and designing log stores in my head (the problem is to get the logs properly dried most cost-efficiently). And I'm really looking forward to my new laptop and PVR HDDs arriving, for the fun of doing the replacements.

Any/all comments welcome.

maybe I don't need a diagnosis anyway? The only real benefit I can think of is being able to mix and compare experiences with others like myself, would an official diagnosis make much difference there? Maybe the forums are all I need!

Hi Rob (from another newbie on the site) - I too am in the UK, and in a similar age group.

Your story is similar in many ways to mine, and I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with the quote at the top of this post.

I became aware of ASDs in my mid-50s, and for a while I became very anxious about getting myself formally diagnosed, but eventually I gave up because I was just creating more stress for myself.

I hope you will find some answers on here - if you'd like to hear my story, send me a PM.

I am from the UK, I have spoken to doctors and although they think i probably fit on the spectrum they think it is kind of pointless to get officially tested. Its a long process that results in no actual help or support if you are an adult. For me, i researched Aspergers quite extensively and concluded yes, i am on the spectrum. It helps re-frame some of my past, and puts things into perspective, and helps me make sense of certain behaviours of mine that are not as common in NT's. Ultimately though, because i feel connected to the way people on the spectrum think, and feel a kinship with it, (though of course everyone with Aspergers is different, i mean it in a very general way) and that is enough for me.

Thanks MrGrumpy and ConcreteDinosaur, I feel encouraged by you both not to bother with the official side of things but be self-defined and community-focussed. We are the people!

I got an email the other day saying I had a PM but when I visited the site my inbox was empty. If you sent me a PM could you send it again please? Sorry for the hassle. Also for the delay, I've had computer probs and been busy with other things.

Rob