Hi everyone, I am new here :)

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Hello everybody.

My name is Richard, nickname SpeedyRich if you fancy.

I have just discovered this site .and I have to say it is exactly what I have been hoping to find for a very long time!

I am 53, and contrary to the details in my profile (don't know how to change it) I am not Asperger's, I would consider myself to be an "NT" (a phrase I had not known about before reading some posts here.

I do seem to have a history of being surrounded by people who have mild or serious pointers towards Autism etc. The trend continues and I wonder sometimes if I myself may have "symptoms."

My ex wife's mother (now old) has been an extremely difficult person her entire life, and shows no social understanding or compassion about many subjects. This caused major problems in my marriage, and it has since been admitted that her actions are slowly causing more and more problems in my ex wife's new marriage.

My first born son ( I am a very caring father) was eventually diagnosed as High functioning at around age 9, many classic symptoms yet the ability to learn and adapt. He is now 17, is very academically successful and has a new girlfriend.

My last girlfriend's youngest daughter (now 13) exhibits many traits, mainly of a complete lack of awareness of her effect on others due to social and physical messages she sends out. (particularly alarming for her mother as her daughter is particularly outgoing and attractive.)

One of my very best friends has extremely male traits (sorting, organisation, social shyness etc etc.)



I have been becoming more and more certain that my current girlfriend (and potential Fiance) may also have a level of the condition. She is a first (and only) child, and has a slight upper body disability due to her very difficult breech birth.

I am sometimes at a complete loss to understand her lack of/unexpected emotional responses to certain situations, and in searching the internet for topics like "dating a woman with autism" I have not had much success, but then stumbled upon this wonderful forum. I will shortly be sending the link to my son as we can discuss this type of thing quite openly.

I do not know if this site is the right place to try to ask some innocent questions that will give me more direction to understand some of her actions (or lack of) but I am truly hoping so as I love her very dearly.

Best wishes to all

Richard

Welcome, Richard.

I'm the same age as you. There's lots of information--both research derived and anecdotal (especially anecdotal LOL) on this site.

Have a good dayl I live in NYC,

Hey Speed,
A lot of it is just basic wiring differences. Emotional detachment at certain events is not unusal or abnormal behavior on the spectrum. Actually its normal for us and we don't get why NTs are making such a fuss. Its just a leg, you got another, get over it. But we do get emotional over other things you may not. Like being devastated and feeling like a murderer because we stepped on a little bug accidentally. There are fortunately places where we overlap of course. We are not from Mars after all.

But here is a trick. As a team a NT-AS pairing can function quite well utilizing each others strengths. In any given situation one of you isn't going to lose their head and will remain calm and logical. But the glue is learning to understand what the other is going through and respond in a caring and helpful way. So that little joke I made above about 'getting over it' is not the way to respond.

I am AS and have an NT wife btw. Once we figured out what was going on and worked on how we interface it definately improved between us.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!