Maybe life will finally get better...

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All my life I have been a big freak. I was a year ahead of everyone in school and in all the advanced classes and at the top of my class so I never really had any friends. I always attributed by horrible social skills to that lack of peer interaction as a child. It led me down a road of depression. I went to many therapists but they all were not helpful until my most recent one who suggested that I might have Aspergers. I have had people who suggested that i might be on the ASD spectrum for years but I was naive to think it would have been caught as a kid...I remember now that back then was all about ADD and with me being female they probably would not have tested me anyway.

I managed to live a normal-ish life. Graduated from a very good university, have a successful career and even spent time in the military. Married a wonderful man who accepted me and my quirks. I do not have a complete diagnosis yet as we are moving across the country in a month but as soon as I get there I will be able to get officially tested but the three people who have seen me already are nearly 100% sure I am an Aspie. Maybe with an official diasnosis I can get help with coping skills so I might be able to make some friends in our new area.

Don't want to reveal too much about myself. I am female in my early 30s, married for a few years now to a member of the military. No children yet though we do want one but I am wondering now if that is a good idea...I don't want to pass this on.

Asperger's could be an aggravating condition--but, sometimes, it could produce some of the greatest minds. Why not bring other people with Asperger's into the world--then provide those kids with all the support possible, since Asperger's is a known quantity, and you could anticipate the pitfalls. Who knows? Maybe the kid will do something great!

Asperger's is definitely not "genetic" in the Mendelian sense. It's not inevitable that one with Asperger's will give birth to people with Asperger's. Even so, giving birth to someone who is predisposed to Asperger's is not necessarily a tragedy.

Isn't Asperger's more likely to be passed through the male line?
Or is that just an illusion caused by diagnosis being more common in males until recent times?

Hi.
Ex-mil married to Ex-mil here. You sound similiar to me, and I self diagnose myself as an Aspie, and the self tests agree. But I seem to have a mild case and can work around things usually. There really are a lot of people who don't know they have it and just think of themselves as different.

I didn't know it was Aspergers when we had kids. I have one daughter who does not seem to have it or if she does it is very slight. I have a son who I am certain has it, in about the same degree as I do. But he does not know and is deployed overseas right now with the military. He is doing just fine and actually excelling and very active, like I was at his age.

I know I have read the statistical chances of passing on ASD but don't remember them off the top of my head. I think a simple Google search can turn up that number. I don't remember it being a large number, and it is far from certain you will pass it on. Also being a spectrum a person can come in along a wide range of levels. But I think your right to consider it well and completely.

Hi I live in the UK and if you get officially diagnosed as an adult here there is no help at all, apart from the comfort some people may get from having an official diagnosis, here at least, there is no advantage to be gained. Is there where you will be living? If you read many stories of aspies here on WP, and then compare and contrast you will have a pretty good idea, and it's not uncommon for people with Aspergers to be really excellent at what they do of course. Charles Darwin, James Joyce, and Stanley Kubrick to name a few all had Aspergers, there can be so many positives to being on the spectrum. For some people who are highly intelligent and accomplished and don't need financial help, or feel the need to account for how they behave, I wonder how important it is to meet the specific description of having Aspergers.

Last edited by ConcreteDinosaur on 01 May 2014, 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

???

A lot of us have done terribly in education because of our sensory problems and so on...and have a lot of problems with maintaining independence.

And NTs can have social problems as well.

Chin up QuidditChick.

I'm 32 just diagnosed as aspergers have a good job a lovely NT wife and an amazing 2.75 year old son. He may be aspie too, it's a bit too soon to tell. Making choices about parenthood is hard enough and I know aspergers adds a massive additional dimension to that. Sometimes I worry about whether or not I have passed aspergers to my boy but other times I don't because either way I know he's a fantastic kid with so much to offer.

Welcome (though I'm brand-new too, haha)! I really "feel" you and I think that if you think you are an aspie, you are probably right. I'm not sure what "help" you are looking for, but in my rural area there are no services of any kind for autistic people :( Most of the help I have received has been talking to other autistic people, and exchanging ideas for coping mechanisms - which has been a big help! But of course you don't need a diagnosis for that.

You may pass it on and you may not. In my family, my maternal grandmother has asperger's. Both her kids (my mom and uncle) have aspergers. Me, one of my sisters, and one of my maternal cousins have autism/aspergers. So it certainly *may* be genetic. However, in a family of more autistic people than not, we have experienced a reversal of what many NT (neurotypical - basically *not* autistic) parents of autie kids report: the NT kids have been harder to raise and understand than the autie kids. My mum (who has asperger's) has always understood and connected to myself and my autie sister very naturally and been able to help us with autism problems before we even knew the word "asperger's," yet it always fell to my (NT) stepdad to help our youngest, who is NT. Mum just couldn't "connect" with her as easily. So if you want children, I would not worry about having an autistic child. It's our "normal." Yes growing up and fitting in may be harder for your child if s/he is autistic. But you can help her/him because you know how it feels.