My name is Hayley, 22 years old and I live in the Netherlands. I spend a few months in therapy last year, but had to stop because I wasn't making much progress. Somehow, he never quite understood me and this became very, very frustrating. However, in the last few sessions autism and aspergers seemed to be recurring topics, from which I shied away every time they came up. Now, I think I was afraid of getting diagnosed..
Reading the topics here on WP has made me feel like I found people who would understand my quirks. I spend my whole life desperately trying to fit in, always wondering what was wrong with me; it shouldn't be so hard to enjoy field trips, right? I never had much friends, one or two at a time, but I never shared any interests with them. Luckily, thanks to a high IQ I was able to adapt and teach myself to be 'normal' (eyecontact, not -visibly- freaking out over being touched, going to a party every once in a while, smile..), and hiding what is not considered as 'normal'. Which basically means that I was always hiding the fact that I felt like I just really did not belang with any of those people. It was exhausting.
The past few months I have kind of been closing off from everyone, trying to figure out what it is that makes me so different, and here I am. I'm still a bit hesitant to even self diagnose, but after reading some of the topics (the one about food was such a relief!) I'm planning on going to my doctor. It feels weirdly good to read all of your stories, and I think that says enough.
So thank you, everyone, for sharing your story.
I feel infinitely less alone.
04 Jul 2014, 6:10 am
Some "coffee" and sclerotia truffles sure stand to improve my storytelling!
