I'm new, does it sound like I have AS?

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Hi, I am a fairly new member, about a day old at the moment. This is probably only the third forum of any kind I've joined in my life, but I think I will be more involved here than I ever was on other forums and social networking sites. I don't know, it seems like it could be a fun way to interact with others who think the way I do, and a good source of helpful advice as well.

About me, I am male, and I am currently diagnosed only with ADD, but I believe this to be a misdiagnosis. I was diagnosed at 11, I am currently 18, nearly 19. I recently started getting treatment with Adderall, and it didn't have the effect I expected at all. And I suppose I always had the feeling I didn't really fit the ADD description fully, or rather, it didn't fit me fully, so I wasn't all that surprised.

About a week ago I asked my mom more about my childhood behaviors, thinking maybe there would be some indicator, and she said that I wasn't really inattentive and bored as much as I was just unresponsive. I would either be totally absorbed in something, like a video game or taking something apart, or I would be doing literally nothing, but still I would not respond to my name. She said in general I did not show much emotion, other than outbursts of anger either when I couldn't communicate what I wanted, or when my toys didn't work the way I tried to use them (often not the intended purpose). So I looked into this, and quickly came across results about autism. I remember wondering a couple years ago about if I could have autism, and I did take an assessment (don't remember which) that said I was likely, but I just dismissed it. I knew there was no way my dad would believe that, let alone look into it, and I assumed it was a coincidence, that my personality was simply similar to those with autism spectrum disorders. But I've been researching autism almost obsessively since last Monday, and was shocked at how much I related, especially with the social part of it. My AQ was 46 of 50 and my EQ was 2 of 80. My jaw literally dropped at those results, I had no idea.

People are just weird to me, I always felt off with others. I know when I look at them that there are so many things that could be going on in their heads, but I have no clue about what anyone really thinks of me. Even with family, I always felt off, disconnected, like I wasn't really a part of the family. I never fit in with any group anywhere, even the nerdy or weirdo groups. I was always there, people knew who I was and knew I was extremely intelligent, but I was usually in the background regardless.

Anyway, I could go on and on I'm sure. And reading what I wrote it reaffirms my belief that I do indeed have some form of autism, probably Asperger's. But I'm just wondering, does it sound like that to others too? I often feel trapped in my own head (where I tend to over-think and over-analyze , so I could use some outside perspective. I am going to bring these things up with my therapist at my next appointment, as I think I should definitely get a professional evaluation as soon as possible.

I also want to say thanks to everyone, I've only made a few posts but I already feel pretty welcome. I hope to make some friends on here too. By the way, my main interest is singing, particularly rock music (I wish I could sing like that anyway, haha), as well as listening to music. I like rock music mainly, many types and subgenres, but also I like Weird Al and songs by YouTube comedians like Tobuscus or nigahiga. And I also really like video games, though unfortunately I don't have much time or opportunity to play them anymore. Specifically I like systems and games from Nintendo the most.

For me it sounds like you have one: AS or HFA. And if I say so you might be pretty sure you at least fit the traits. I am known of "dediagnosing" self diagnosed people here (Im obsessed with the traits) so me confirming someones self-diagnose is rare.

Do you have particular special interests?

Misdiagnoses belie the mental-health industry's professionalism. Because I was born in the 1960s, I was often told (and diagnosed) as having depression when I really just avoided social interaction. That was common back in the 1970s and 1980s; if you don't play well with others, you MUST be depressed.


Wow. I have never heard of an EQ score of 2. Mine was 11. Hehe.

"researching autism almost obsessively since last Monday"
"People are just weird to me, I always felt off with others"
"I often feel trapped in my own head (where I tend to over-think and over-analyze , so I could use some outside perspective"

I would seriously look into this. I was misdiagnosed for a long time. Also, don't give up if your therapist laughs at you or insists you aren't autistic. A lot of people, including therapists, have NO idea what the criteria even is, but they still act as if they are experts. You will most likely need an ADOS test from someone who is experienced in diagnosing higher-functioning people.

It doesn't matter if your dad won't take this seriously. EVERYONE laughed at me when I suggested I could be autistic, even my autistic husband. Well, we didn't know he was at the time, but it's fairly obvious. Anyways, my point is that people are so arrogant when it comes to autism, that they will insist actual autistic people aren't autistic because they said so. Don't let this discourage you. Also, you can have ADD and autism at the same time. Good luck.

Yes I do actually, for about 6 years I have been very into singing. Also video games have been a strong interest for a while, and I used to be extremely into origami as a child. My brother did call me obsessed with singing, and many people have gotten irritated at me for doing it so often. I sing pretty much any time I can. I used to just think I was really interested but I would admit it borders obsession.

Last edited by L_Holmes on 21 Jul 2014, 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Those are pretty common special interests I've seen, ESPECIALLY the video games.

Do you have any sensory sensitivities?

And so far, it does sound like it. I think you should go ahead and tell someone and try to get a meeting with a professional. Be persistent though, my mom didn't believe me until I had a huge meltdown at school and was sent to a psychologist. You definitely don't want it to be like that.

Well I am noticeably more jumpy at noises than others, and especially loud sudden noises cause me to feel fear briefly, and then I feel the need to attack whatever caused/is causing the noise, like some stupid motorcycle driver that thinks he's cool for being so loud. And I notice high pitched noises in the background much more often than others. My grandparents have these stupid bug repelling things that emit a high pitch, and just today I was walking down the street in town and for some reason a very high pitched frequency was going off in a particular area. I had to cover my ears. I even notice the ones that are meant for dogs, my grandpa has motion sensing dog deterrents in the yard, they are annoying. And I broke down crying and covering my ears at least once at a drag race with my step dad when I was 8.

Also, the sun annoys me, I always strongly prefer overcast or even rainy days to sunny days. I hate direct sunlight, and I like walking around outside at night. OH, and strobe lights are the devil. I don't understand how anyone can function in strobe lights, let alone have fun. I was in a haunted house at 16 when I first experienced strobe lights. The lights combined with all the sudden noises... I couldn't even remember where I was and I was so disoriented I almost walked into the same wall multiple times. My friend's little sister had to hold my hand and lead me out. Afterwards, I had to sit down for like 15 minutes to regain my senses.

This isn't as pronounced as the other two, but I also very much prefer to wear 100% cotton clothes, and I like my whole body covered (I never wear shorts and I prefer to wear a zip up hoodie with the fuzzy stuff on the inside all the time, unfortunately it is usually to warm and I get too hot).

EDIT: I accidentally left the word "cotton" out, I prefer 100% cotton clothes.

Last edited by L_Holmes on 24 Jul 2014, 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It saddens me to hear a few people here experienced their parent or family reacting by laughing at them. That's just horrible!

I feel for you. Living in a world you don't understand with people you can't figure out, it's hard and it's good to hear someone say that sometimes.

All the things you mention sound like autism to me. Asperger is the one I am thinking of. My uncle had Asperger and was the same. I am also diagnosed with autism but not a particular kind. There are a lot of types of autism. You can have someone with autims that feels everything to much (like me) and you have people with autism that don't feel anything. Everyone is unique.

It is possible that you have ADD and Autism. They can be present together. I have ADHD and Autism. The sensitivity to noises and high-pitched sounds sounds very familiar. I wear earplugs sometimes, maybe you should try that out when you are tired or just want silence. We also had the dog repelling things here and they made me go nuts! I always hear a buzz when I am outside that none around me seem to hear. Nice to meet someone who has the same experience. The thing that makes me really freak out is children playing and screaming all the time.

bleh12345's comment is very correct. Nice advice! You should really listen to him.

Please don't trust those so called experts. There are a lot of people out there who just don't know what they are doing. It took me ages (years) to find a place were they were professional and I felt like they did a good job diagnosing me. I even had a behavior specialist who was afraid of me because I wrote in an e-mail that I would go through fire for her because she helped me out so much. She for some reason took that wrong and thought I treatened her. I can tell you one thing, I have never treatened anyone in my live. I am harmless. She totally misjudged me as a lot of others have in the past. Now she is writing a book and is renowned for her knowledge. Everybody can make mistakes but she hurt me to the bottom of my heart and she just did not care. She never sayed she was sorry or anything else. I would have gone to war for that woman. So, my advice, please search for the right people for a diagnosis. You will know when you find them. They will respect you and really want to help you.

I hope you will get the answers you seek. Let us know if you do please.

It definitely sounds like you're autistic to me, especially the sensory stuff. That was always the big thing for me, so just reading it makes me feel bad. If your dad doesn't want to take you to a specialist, try talking to someone at school. Maybe they would convince your dad or something?

Of all I read, definitely.

Well I'm actually living with my grandparents right now, so I don't necessarily need to tell my dad, though I wish I felt comfortable doing so. I also wish I could expect a better reaction from my grandparents, but to be honest I think they would be even more likely to laugh, or at least blow me off. And considering I will have to use their car if I want to get an evaluation somewhere they may tell me no. That is my biggest concern at the moment, and they may even say something like, "Well if you know you have it then why do you want a diagnosis?" I can't even comprehend that someone would think I wouldn't want to know why I am so different. Yet both my therapist and brother had this response. The therapist was saying, "If you know the problems it causes already, then the treatment of those problems are still the same."

Annoyingly enough, I have this thing where I can tell when someone is making a fallacious argument or is overlooking important facts, but I can never communicate out loud how I actually know they are wrong or what they are missing, because what I say gets misinterpreted or my thought process is interrupted. They will keep throwing questions at me and give me no time to think. So then I look flustered like I don't know what I'm talking about, when really I just have too many things going through my mind at once, and they end up just coming out wrong. This is why I'm hesitant to bring these types of things up, because not only will the initial reaction be bad, but then I could end up proving them right because my thoughts don't seem coherent. I am thinking about just writing them a note or showing them a video about Asperger's because I doubt I could communicate effectively to them in a two way conversation.

It's horrible how people react to you! The therapist sounds like not that good a therapist. You should really get a diagnosis. I can feel it's important to you. You need answers! It's horrible that nobody supports you in this. They should be ashamed of themselfs!

We can't diagnose. But there isn't much in your OP to really go on. I think the posters here who say you definitely have it are making very uninformed and hasty judgements.

That may be true that they are being hasty to agree. But I think they are just saying, basing on what information I included, it does seem to fit. I think the most important information would be my childhood symptoms, signs, and behaviors, as this would have been before most other complicating factors that blur the symptoms (like coping methods and other learned behaviors) come into play; I will briefly describe those from what I remember and what my mom has told me.

I was always really mellow as a baby, she said I was easy in that I didn't cry very much, she said she always had to rock me or drive me in the car a bit to get me to sleep though. My mom described me as very serious, often unresponsive to my surroundings as a toddler even when she would say my name over and over, and I had poor eye contact. She also said sometimes I would smile at weird times or make other expressions that were inappropriate for the situation, though this wasn't too often. This was well before I started prompting her about symptoms in these past couple of weeks, I had heard her say this and give me examples of it since I was 10 or 11. She said I hated swinging on my baby swing, I would hold my breath and get extremely tense even on the low setting. As a toddler I hated the teeter-totter in the same way, I couldn't even swing if she was holding me. I still don't enjoy things like that very much, and especially with amusement park rides I will only go on them if I am with others and don't want to get teased. She also said when I was 5 I couldn't go to sleep until I rubbed all the yarn knots on my baby blanket, and this routine persisted for years. However, the most prevalent things as I got into later childhood were just two main things. First: I was not social and was still very unresponsive, my teachers would constantly tell my mom I didn't listen and was in my own world, I wouldn't respond sometimes even if they were right in front of me saying my name. My mom even had this problem, sometimes it would take 5 minutes to respond and I would be apparently just sitting there not making eye contact for that time. I still space out like this frequently, and can be almost totally unaware of my surroundings sometimes. That is especially when sudden sounds, even quieter ones, will scare me really badly and I will feel tense for at least a minute or two. I still usually can respond if I hear my name though.

The other thing that was a huge problem as a kid, was 2-3 times a week on average I would have fits of anger (meltdowns?) where I would get so angry I'd just lash out at everything and everyone, and my mom said it was almost always for no reason, no apparent one anyway, unless it was because of the kids at school bullying me which happened somewhat often. As a baby it was usually something to do with a toy not working how I wanted, like the square block not going in the circle hole. Up until about 6th grade I still had major problems with this, I tried to hit a girl with a music stand in band class in 5th grade because she was teasing me about being short. I would also get really angry with frustration, like not being able to get past a level in a video game, and throw things, punch the floor and hit myself on the head with my hand, same if somebody tried interrupting my game. I am not sure if this is what meltdowns look like or if things like that cause them.

But that is basically how I was as a child, either spaced out, not listening to instructions and expressing hardly any emotion, or I would have extreme fits of anger. I didn't have many really specific routines that I am aware of. But during class all I did was origami. I just so easily memorized the material that I got all A's and B's. At home my life was video games. Even with my friends, I only wanted to play video games, or do separate activities, like I would just go over to play their games while they went to play outside.

I don't know how indicative or insignificant these things might be, and I wish I had a better idea of what I used to be like. I do realize nobody on here is going to be able to definitively say either way, but I am just wondering if these things are significant indicators, insignificant, or possibly indicators of something else. I just want to have a really good idea about it and all the symptoms I have before I get an evaluation, and it helps me remember things if I just start writing about it.