Where to begin... I guess I didn't really know anything at all about autism or Asperger's until about a month ago, when I saw gifs made from an Arthur episode on tumblr. Good old tumblr.
Anyway, most of the things in those gifs described me, so I set out to do research. Read one of John Elder Robison's books, currently reading another. Trying to decide whether or not to get an official diagnosis. Told my sister I think I am autistic--she was a psych major and has probably gotten pretty used to my "I think I have ____" statements by now. The difference is, instead of basing my self-diagnosis of bipolar disorder, OCD, ADD, anxiety on one or two symptoms, I now can combine all of those symptoms and have more to boot. Robison's books are a real eye opener--things I had no idea that non-AS people do or don't do, etc, etc.
I think the main reason I am considering pursuing a diagnosis now is for money. My husband and I are in our early 30s, have been married almost 8 years, and have 2 cats and a dog. In all of the time we have been together (and really, all of the time I have been in the working world), I have never been able to hold down a job for more than 18 months, and I've never made more than $12/hr. I'm fairly certain that I was fired from one job because of things beyond my control (not being able to tell what coworkers expected of me, being weird, etc).
Now I want to go back to school (again). I have an associate's, and I want a bachelor's in Ecology. That's my lifelong fixation--behaviors, how they relate to the environment, how they adapt to facilitate the extension of life, etc. The plan is to be a traveling behavioral ecologist. Like Jane Goodall, but I'm not interested in primates. But school costs money! And money, especially as a "white" person, is not easy to come by. If I can even get a little government assistance, it would help. So we'll see.
The other thing I have noticed is that (I hope) it is getting easier for my husband and I to communicate. When I find things relevant to us, I send them to him or show him, and so far he has read everything. He is definitely not an Aspie--he loves being around people and has no problem connecting to them or communicating. But he is very analytical and logical at times, as well as very focused. (I don't like the word "neurotypical" for reasons I won't go into right now, so you won't see me type it again.) Still, he has trouble understanding why I do things. He can't read my facial expressions because, unless I am laughing, there's not much to read. I think my frustrations take him by surprise a lot.
So I guess that's my other reason for joining the forum--to find ways for my husband and I to communicate and cope with speaking different languages. Book suggestions, personal anecdotes, advice will all be welcomed. Unless you tell me we can't work it out and I will never make it. Because that's a load of bull.
24 Jul 2014, 2:30 pm
