Before I begin, I know that a person is only supposed to have one account here. I had signed up for an account when I was younger, but between the facts that
A) I lived in a different location than I do now,
B) I don't remember what my username was for that account from so long ago, and
C) Even if I did, it's probably attached to memories that I wish to leave behind (tl;dr, when I was younger, I was incarcerated for breaking probation in a juvenile detention facility - which had done no favors for me so far as my mental/emotional health was concerned, I'm fairly sure I acquired PTSD as a result).
So, while I'm aware I'm breaking rules, I sincerely apologize for needing to do so (unless there was a way for me to retrieve my forgotten username, but it's a little late now on that...)
Another thread had a list of questions. As I'm not very good at talking about myself without some sort of guideline, I'll use the questions here, even though I assume they're intended to be for use in that thread...
What is your first name?: The most you'll get from me is an "S."
Age: 22
Location: Eastern US, GMT-5 (or whatever the current DST equivalent is)
Hobbies and Interests: Video gaming, music, drawing, generally thinking about the stories in my mind that I've a difficult time putting to words. It's hard to explain. "Romance" can also be considered somewhat of an interest in an odd way, as it's something that's been on my mind ever since childhood (that is, I think it's one of my "obsessive interests;" I've always been fond of romantic love).
Why are you here?: Simply to talk to people of similar processes. I'm very private about my diagnosis online because I'm aware of the stigmas attached to it (and by extension having it simply considered an excuse for my attitude, I tend to be very abrasive online, where I can speak my mind more freely). Yet, some of the things I wonder about myself are highly connected to my diagnosis...
When were you diagnosed?: I don't know? I know that it was at some point during early-to-mid childhood that I became aware of my diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome.
Favorite subjects: Typically computer- or art-related.
Year/Grade: In the process of entering college; I'm aiming for a New Media associate's currently I've an idea of the things I would like to do for a career, but not in what aspect, so I thought that getting an associate's in New Media would help me figure out what sorts of things I would enjoy most from the computer/arts/entertainment spectrum before making a final decision on what sort of field to aim for.
Favorite music: I don't have any. Music is the only, shall I say, "appropriate" stress management method I have that has helped. I have tastes, but they vary very widely with no pinpoint because I simply like having music to listen to.
Books: Non-fiction. I don't find fiction as enjoyable, since I find the stories within my mind more entertaining, but I'm not adverse to reading it either.
TV shows/Movies: I enjoy some anime now and then, but ironically, despite enjoying videos and looking at how things are utilized in media, I'm not particularly big on TV or movies. I know this is to do with patience, though, as marathoning anime has a similar effect to watching a movie. It bores me very easily unless I'm REALLY enjoying it. TV is simply not a priority.
Instrument: My mouth. No, seriously; I enjoy singing. I could be better at it than I am, but I love to sing.
Do you like sports? No. I could stand to get a bit more exercise, but I have a distaste for sports.
Family: ...as far as I'm concerned, everyone except the elder of my two older brothers can simply not exist, especially my aunt.
To elaborate: I have been prone to violent tantrums since having been a child, this is why I got probation (broken by frightened truancy; I was aware of how I affected others and wished to just stop hurting them in the only way I knew how). I have tried to explain to other family members (most of us are very stubborn and hotheaded, myself included, ironically) while I was in a calm and "appropriate" state of mind that, when being responded to in an argumentative/accusatory tone, it puts me on guard and tends to start fights. I've explained this numerous times over to my late mother and aunt. It never got through to them, so I've given up on trying to connect with most of them. Elder-older brother is an exception, because he DOES understand, and he's had to explain to my aunt once why I was waving my arms around and trying to mimic writing while I sounded choked up during crying. (Because of my experiences in detention, I can't scream or yell at all anymore and I become mute when I'm crying too much; when I try to speak while crying, I sound choked. I was trying to ask for a pen and paper, and my elder older brother understood that.)
Clothing: Whatever's comfortable. I'd like to dress more femininely, but that can wait until I lose weight. I've never really had sensory issues with clothing, except for one particular shirt that's been poking me in the shoulder incessantly with no known source; most of my sensory issues, at least what I notice, are with sound and temperature.
How did you find this website? I don't even remember...
Job: None currently (I live alone and off of Social Security benefits due to father) which is why I'm going to college; I know that I would not enjoy foodservice, retail, or hard labor (the only things someone could enter in my area entry-level). I highly dislike the feeling of dependence living on benefits gives me, as someone who's had minimal control over much of her life.
Plans for the future? College, obviously. *Hopefully* making an LDR I recently entered with a close friend of two years work (he's aware of my being Aspie, and I'm admittedly a little suspicious he may be himself), and getting some sort of career. Most importantly, a driver's license (I'm dependent on others to deal with most tasks, such as laundry, that require leaving the house, and this annoys me to a MASSIVE extent - a huge source of my feeling of dependence as well).
Any comments? No, other than an apology for making a second account. I've no intent to forget this time!
15 Aug 2014, 12:56 am
