Hi I'm new and new to AS

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Hi I'm Al from Northern NSW in Australia. I am 46 and have only recently been diagnosed. I find it so refreshing to find a website like this full of normal people. I've browsed around a few discussions and am able to identify with everything being said - well mostly anyway.

I have spent years trying to work out social situations and protocol and never understanding why others seemed so natural at it and I didn't. I found solace in the arts and music and the stage. Like most on here, I have major depression problems and have to deal with years of bullying and now I have an answer to the why this occurs. It's quite strange to find this out after so many years, it's a relief and also a burden. I have spent many years trying to work out what is acceptable and what is not and modifying behaviour accordingly, that I sort of feel that my true self is lost inside somewhere, hidden to the outside world. What will happen if I let it out??

My scores are 148 of 200 aspie and 68 of 200 NT

Al

Welcome to the Forums.

I hope you drink lots of orange juice!

I am 25 (DX'd in June) and I felt the same way. I have found, within the last few months that I have remained much the same as I was before the DX... that the "true self" that had been hidden away from the world for the past decade has not come out.. I guess that when you are impersonating someone else for so long, eventually the true self is no longer applicable or even able to be found after so long.. if that makes sense? I wanted to be my true self after I found out about my DX but my true self has not been allowed to show itself since I was a preteen so my true self is no longer applicable to who I am today (a 25 year old)... I mean, I still have many characteristics that I always have (noise sensitivity etc) but the lack of social guidebook has kind of gone away. I don't know if any of this makes sense....

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I am 25 (DX'd in June) and I felt the same way. I have found, within the last few months that I have remained much the same as I was before the DX... that the "true self" that had been hidden away from the world for the past decade has not come out.. I guess that when you are impersonating someone else for so long, eventually the true self is no longer applicable or even able to be found after so long.. if that makes sense? I wanted to be my true self after I found out about my DX but my true self has not been allowed to show itself since I was a preteen so my true self is no longer applicable to who I am today (a 25 year old)... I mean, I still have many characteristics that I always have (noise sensitivity etc) but the lack of social guidebook has kind of gone away. I don't know if any of this makes sense....[/quote]

It does make sense, thanks for the reply. What I have found already is that my wife is showing a little patience with my social faut pars and has stopped teasing me about my little rituals.

Hey hey! I don't see many fellow members from my part of the world. Welcome!