Hello, I'm new here, and I am not quite sure if I'm an 'aspie' or not. My mother and i were completely ignorant of this syndrome until a friend of mine was diagnosed and told me to look into it. Unluckily, the day i found out about this syndrome my father passed away, so trying to gain a diagnosis from my psychologist has proven to be a difficult task. He seems to be more concerned with helping me 'grieve' which is odd because I'm not sad in the least bit. I'm 16 years old, and I've always been an 'outcast.' I've never shown my true emotions like a normal person, instead I do things like bite or suck on the right side of my lip when happy (my father use to joke saying "Oh my...someone call the police someone stole Krissy's bottom lip"), bite my left thumb when angered, bite my right thumb when overwhelmed (such as when someone is asking too many questions, there's too much noise, or too many people), bite my left side of my tongue when i am nervous, ect. As for my social life, well I only have what are considered friends because my brothers are the 'cool kids', and i was forced to socialize by being dragged to baseball games, forced into ballet, and girl scouts. My few friends I've known since literally birth, and I speak to them once a month or so. School has always been hell for me. Academically, I'm brilliant. I miss an average of 100 days per year and I still manage to be 1-2 years ahead on every subject, but socially school was hell. In elementary school, i would have my mother pick me up during lunch so i would not have to interact with the children during lunch time. In middle school, I would throw my infamous tantrums in the middle of the parking lot, screaming "I HATE SCHOOL! Don't make me go Please!" and I would swing at the principle when he would come out and literally carry me to my first hour. Over the years, it has become worse, to the point where i am now dropping. To me, the telephone is the most confusing object in the world. I never know when to speak, and i refuse to talk on it. I have oversensitive ears, and an oversensitive sense of touch. Just to be sadistic, my brothers love to touch me lightly to watch me twitch. I also carry Play-Doh around with me because i love the texture. I started speaking at the age of 4 months, and i was using full sentences by the age of 6 months. Although I started early I was put into speech class for 6 years because I could not control the tempo of my voice, and i stuttered a lot. When i was young i would throw tantrums, well i still do throw them where i would bang my head on the ground until i passed out or got what i wanted. I've shown my brothers the diagnostic criteria of asperger's and according to them i do everything on the list, but my mother of course as soon as she found out that AS is considered part of the autistic spectrum started denying everything. Such as the tantrums i spoke about when i bring those up its "haha honey thats what we call spoiled kid syndrome." I come off as nice but the truth is i don't really care about other peoples problems. Curiosity runs my life, and i think of people as 'science experiments' Its a process I've used since i can remember to find out what people are thinking. 1) If able apply background knowledge about said person. Such as 'quirks' i have learned about my family, and make a hypothesis. 2) ask "how are you?" listen to their answer, and start asking why questions. 3) when enough data is collected to come up with an answer to how they feel, say something. 4) Make a conclusion about how that 'something' affected their mood, and make a mental note. I apologize if this sounds confusing I do not know how to explain it. I take things much too seriously, sarcasm is one of my worse enemy, i also loathe verbal instructions. My grandfather has OCD and every time he comes over i must work. His instructions are so broad though. "take the trash can to the side of the house" "*in my mind* Which trash can? the one we put garbage in or the one we put compost in? which side of the house the right, the left, back or front? well its in the front so it must be the left side right or back" I will stand there for close to 5 minutes pondering what he meant but my brother needs to hear the instructions once and he knows automatically what to do. It baffles me. I've taken many online tests to see if i do have asperger's and they seem to be pointing to it (aspie score of 177, AQ score of 49, EQ of 4, SQ of 57) of course i will never claim to have anything until a doctor tells me i have it. I am positive that i do have social anxiety though. I seem to be ranting again. Anyways thank you, this place seems wonderful and hopefully it will help me find the answers I'm looking for.
13 Mar 2007, 10:28 pm
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, welcome to WP...
