Hi, I'm David and I'm an alco-- Oops, wrong forum...

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Hi, everybody. My name's David, and I'm new here. I don't mind using my real name, because that's who I am. I won't hide. If someone out there wants to use that against me somehow, then so be it. Bring it on, I say!
So, I'm hoping to connect to other Aspies, since I don't have many friends. I'm a 41-year-old musician whose roots are in punk rock, though I don't play punk anymore. I don't know what you'd call what I do, really. Music is my life, my focus. I've never been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, nor do I want to be. Why pay money I barely have to find out what I already know? When I was a baby, I was very withdrawn and strange. From the time of my infancy to the age of 12 or so, I'd repeatedly bang my head, face-down, into my pillow at night while moaning rhythmically, incessantly. The moaning was like the "ohm" sound which people make while meditating. That, combined with the headbanging, would clear my cluttered and busy mind so that I could sleep.
As I've already said, I've never had many friends. The few friends I have now are people I've known since I was a teenager. All of them live far away, so I have no friends with whom I can have physical interactions on a regular or even semi-regular basis.

When I was a child, I was withdrawn and extremely slow, physically, but not mentally. However, the school system mistook my physical slowness for mental slowness, and I was placed in special education classes until I took an IQ test at the age of 6, which revealed that my actual IQ was (and still is) very high. I was labelled as a genius and was immediately removed from remedial education classes. I'm not bragging. I actually don't care about my IQ. If anything, it's been a curse. Anyway, for most of my life I've known that I'm not mentally normal, and that something neurological in nature has been prohibiting me from having a "normal" social life. I've always been awkward, socially, and usually insert myself into conversations in which I'm not welcome. I often say inappropriate things or things that just baffle most people, things that seem perfectly normal and okay to me, even though I'm often aware while I'm saying them that they won't be perceived as normal or appropriate by others. That's a perception that I didn't always have, it's one that I've acquired over time, with experience. For at least half of my life, I'd say offensive things and not know they were offensive, nor did I care. I've never been good at judging people's reactions, or reading facial expressions, to modify my own behavior. I just can't seem to help it.

Anyway, after extensive research on the subject of Asperger's, it became overwhelmingly clear to me that that's what I have, for I fit all of the criteria to a tee. I abhor sudden, loud noises, such as those made by construction equipment or banging doors or clanging pots and pans and dishes. Bright lights bother me. Complex instructions confuse and anger me. Crowds and too much external activity confuse and agitate me. For this reason, I don't drive in big cities, nor do I usually like being by myself in cities. However, being with someone isn't insurance against getting lost. For example, I once got lost in Philadelphia when I separated from a friend to pee in an alleyway, which was only a block down the street from where I'd left him, on foot. The profusion of sights and sounds confused me, and caused me to lose all sense of place and direction. I was terrified. I had to knock on a closed shop window to convince the owner to let me in so that I could call my friend's cell and tell him to come and find me. "Dude," he said after I told him the name of the shop I was calling from, "You're right around the corner! What's wrong with you?" I take everything literally. For example, when I was a teenager, I used to help a friend of mine clean his father's tavern on the weekends. Once, his father showed up to the tavern and asked me to sweep under the entrance rug. Much to his surprise and confusion, I picked up the rug, flipped it upside down, and swept its underside! When my friend later told me how he and his father had laughed about my error at their dinner table that night, I was very embarrassed. I don't like being touched, but I like giving and receiving hugs, especially big ones.

So, there you have it. It's been a long, dark, lonely road. I'm here because I'm hoping to find another road, one that's brighter and populated by fellow travelers who understand. Thanks for reading this.

Hey David welcome.

Thank you, RoadRatt. I'm glad to be here.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Another (real) David! Cool.

Welcome.

Hello and welcome!

Thanks so much for rolling out the welcome mat, everybody. Umm...that is a welcome mat, isn't it? I mean, come to think of it, on closer inspection, it's starting to bear an uncomfortable resemblance to a tongue. A big, long tongue. And giant tongues usually lead to giant mouths, which usually contain giant teeth, or even...GULP...fangs. Uh...you know, I suddenly just remembered that I have to be somewhere else right now, gang....

Welcome to Mars David everyone's welcome lol. You sound very much like myself, this is me like it or keep a walkin lol I hope you are befriended by many on here

Hello, Alison! Thank you. You're welcome, as well. I always thought I was from Mars, but since I'm new here, and "here" is Mars, I must be from someplace else. Suddenly, the world as I've always known it has been shattered to bits. Suddenly, I'm a man without an origin! Oh, no!

Good morning David and welcome.

Hello David, welcome to Wrongplanet. I liked reading about your introduction here. I am also like you in many aspects especially regarding my childhood and youth and that sweeping under the rug incident-I can relate. Currently, I am living in a big city and it bothers me for all the reasons that you have mentioned here.
Keep reading the posts here, you will feel much comforted by the stories other aspies are sharing here.

Thank you, Rossum. Thank you, abeautifulmind. I've been having a good time here, so far. I haven't been banned yet (knock on wood), which is a good sign, I suppose.