The diagnosis does change things a little. There are positives (it explains a lot) and it can be a little scarynrollercoaster too (wow, I married an aspie?) . I am an NT married to an aspie. I was the one that brought the idea up with my husband 2 years into our marriage. I mentioned it and then dropped the subject until he wanted to talk about it. I explained I thought this might explain some of his behaviors but then I gave him time to process, research it, and within a week or two he wanted to talk about it more. He agreed that this might explain a lot about him. He thought his daughter had it, bit had never considered he could be on the spectrum. We talked about getting a diagnosis, but I told him that was totally his decision. A couple of months went by. We both read some books and educated ourselves. We didnt talk much about it. Then he decided to get a diagnosis. After the doctor confirmed our suspicions we both went through some rough waters trying to digest what this means for our relationship and he spent a lot of time analysing his past. We are seeing a therapist to work on our communication skills and his social anxieties. Everyone is different, but my advice is to give him some time, let him know you love him no matter what, and let him decide how to proceed. My husband was scared I would leave him. I get scared he would eventually get exhausted and stop putting in the effort it will take on his part to keep our relationship good. Maybe read up on the subject and do what you can until he is ready to address this.
09 Dec 2014, 2:16 pm
