Any other people in fraternities/sororities on here?

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Hello everyone I'm new here. My name is Dan, I'm 22, it's my last semester in college, and I have believed that I have aspergers since my junior year in high school. I have never been officially diagnosed due to various complications with my health insurance, but I'm planning on starting the process to get one sometime after I'm settled after college. I've been in a fraternity for a year now. I recently lost 30 lbs, and its turned my life around. But I still have plenty of problems. My brothers have (for the most part) been very understanding and accepting of me, but I still feel like I have huge social deficits. Nonverbal signals are still a huge problem for me, and reading people at parties (particularly girls) is very difficult, especially group communication. Turn-taking is confusing as hell, and sometimes I feel like I'm ignored or no one is interested in me. And there is, of course, the problem of "mind blankness", or not having a clue what to say. I'm still trying to learn to "spit game", but no matter what I do, I seem incapable of talking right, saying the right things, dressing right, or reading signals right. I get really frustrated with neurotypicals (no offense if there's any on here, but I'm sure you understand). There's also times when I ask my housemates what a signal meant, but they can't tell me because "they weren't there". I feel like I can't trust my own senses, because I don't know if a girl is flirting, "being nice", nervous, or indifferent. I'm also still new to the eye contact thing. Even when I make eye contact with someone who could potentially be interested, I'm told that my "weirdness" scares girls away. I've even taken a girl back to my room once, and nothing happened (you know what I mean) and she rejected me all because I disclosed that I had aspergers. And the few attractive girls within my circles that I'm friends with all have boyfriends. Don't get me wrong greek life has turned my life around, but I'm just so frustrated. And I'm terrified of what's going to happen after college. How am I going to make friends, let alone a girlfriend?

Hey Dan welcome.

Hi Dan!

I'm honestly surprised that an aspie would be in a fraternity. Most NT people find those kind of organizations socially intimidating. You're brave to just jump in and do it.

NTs who are used to aspies (or used to different sorts of people anyway) tend to explain things better. NTs who are mostly around other people just like them might not be in the habit of stopping and examining something from a different point of view, so therefore it may be hard to explain things they take for granted.

I wouldn't take the girl thing too hard, either. If you were NT, took a lady back to your room, and told her something ELSE personal (like say your mom just died, or you have a fake leg and are hiding it, whatever), she'd probably react the same way. It makes people uncomfortable if they find out too much about you too soon.

The last time I looked there were some good nonverbal communication primers on YouTube.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!