Hi...I guess. :/

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I am new...obviously. I usually don't bother with welcome threads but feel it'd be best here considering the circumstances.

I am not diagnosed with Asperger's, though it's been suggested to me more than once, including by my former psychologist...but back when she suggested it, I had the belief that all Aspies were great at math, bad at languages, and lousy at understanding subtext and human interactions. Me? I suck at math, excel at English/writing, and for the most part I understand subtext and human interactions, I'm just no good at participating in them. I've since learned that's a gross generalization...but my therapy was terminated a few years ago (my social anxiety only got worse, not better), so now I have no way of ever knowing for sure if I have Asperger's or not.

The limited research I've done since then has me just about convinced it would explain not only my utter lack of success at improving in therapy and in making/keeping friends, but also many, many other issues I've struggled with my entire life that have gone without explanation (aside from everyone around me thinking I'm high maintenance or annoying).

I...won't say further than that about my circumstances right now. Because number one, who am I to say whether I have this or not? I'm no professional. I don't want to act like I have a big head. And number two, almost nobody reads the really long personal posts...not even me, and I'm as longwinded as longwinded can get. I've learned the hard way that shorter is better.

I guess my main reason in being here is to find out more about this, maybe ask questions since I have nowhere else/no one else to ask, and figure out if it in fact applies...and maybe not feel so alone or weird or unwanted. Since so far I haven't achieved any of that, online or off. (And I'm currently 38, despite what my profile here says. I'm bad at math but apparently my profile is even worse at math than I am. )

...You know...I was actually afraid to join here (I've peeked in once or twice over the span of a year or so) as I'm painfully sensitive, and tend to take blunt comments personally...I figured some Aspies (I feel weird using that term but it's shorter to type ) might be quite literal and blunt and I'm not sure how I'd handle that since I go out of my way to be tactful and not hurt anyone's feelings, intentionally or unintentionally. But I know not everyone is the same and some people prefer bluntness, I'm just not one of them. Ugh, I said I'd keep this short! ;_; And now I fear that I've been offensive. Well, this speaks volumes about me, I guess.

I do hope my dumb welcome post isn't terribly bothersome or insulting. I'm rather used to bothering people by now but the hurt never goes away.

*creeps off*

I am an Emu Egg? How odd.

*creeps off again*

Welcome to WrongPlanet.
I hope you enjoy it here and find what your looking for.
Its nice to see another writer around and a Lovecraft fan too... I admire your taste in fiction, Lovecraft is a master of his art.
*hugs*

Welcome, I am new here myself and I'm also in a similar position to you.

I wouldn't worry about offending people on here, there are a few trolls but most members are very tolerant of weird and awkward people, a lot of members are happy just talking at each other anyway.

As for your concerns over not having an official diagnosis, don't worry about what others might think of you, if you feel that considering yourself as having Asperger's has allowed you to better understand yourself, you should probably continue to do so. If it's helped you to improve your quality of life then you should definitely continue to so, even if you are actually wrong.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey pirateowl76 welcome.

Thank you all very much for the welcomes...I've started to post a few replies and hope I can learn and contribute somehow.

Welcome - I'm freshly dx (diagnosed), bad at maths but good at English

Welcome to wrongplanet
I too am like you at many aspects of what you wrote, and glad to find others who are as sensitive
I posted my first post with my fingers crossed every time someone replyed to my topic
but everyone seems understanding and open-minded here so I hope you feel at home soon

Hi pirateowl76,

I am new here, as well, and I just wanted to say that I can relate to many of the things you mentioned in your post. Your trouble with making/keeping friends, your trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, being sensitive and understanding subtext... When I have unintentionally hurt or offended somebody, I remember it for years to come, and remembering hurts me physically. So I go out of my way to block those memories, constantly fighting against my own brain, which - for a reason I don't know - wants to remind me of all those stupid things I've said or done (although the people in question have probably forgotten all about it). However, I will always try to defend logic and rationality in a discussion as it upsets me when somebody bluntly disregards them and seems not to be susceptible to reasoning... and I can be quite a zealot... Well, I don't have many discussions going on these days, as you can probably imagine

I hope you have an interesting time here (and I hope I do, too)!

[quote="IBrokeMyself"]Hi pirateowl76,

"When I have unintentionally hurt or offended somebody, I remember it for years to come, and remembering hurts me physically."

Thank you for saying something so well observed, yes me too, enormous amounts of guilt.