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Hi all

I just registered for the site, and this seems to be the place to start.

A bit about me:
I've recently become "middle aged" and diagnosed as having "likely high-functioning Asperger's traits".
Actually, I have been dealing with depression & anxiety for years now, after a run of real bad luck about 6 years ago (developed Type 2 Diabetes, a job redundancy that lead to more than a year out of work, and a failed marriage).
I had tried so many different meds to get over this, none seemed to be effective other than for unwanted side-effects (such as insomnia), so my doctor referred me to a psychiatrist for a recommendation as to treatment.
The Asperger's thing came out as part of that psychiatric evaluation.

I still really don't know what to make of it...
On reading more about the condition, it does explain a lot about me, and what others have observed about me.
The flip side is, there doesn't seem to be a magic bullet cure - it's just something I have to accept (and even more unlikely, for society as a whole to accept me!) and just keep working at it.
My sister got me a copy of John Robison's book "Look Me In The Eye" - his story offers me some hope that it is still possible to be successful/happy/interesting despite something that is unfairly seen as a negative.

It would be fair to say that there are not many times that I am not socially awkward.
My goal now is to develop my social skills, build up some confidence again, maybe even make new friends.
I found this site while trying to Google for Asperger's support services, and have been lurking for a while.
The community looks really good, friendly and understanding, and I think it is a safe place for me to start.
(Those on the spectrum may be the nicest people you can meet, even though it feels we are not always appreciated).
So, today, I picked up the courage and am making my intro post.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!
I hope I can make a positive contribution to the forum in the future.

Cheers

Dave

welcome to WP dave!

i also don't see they there's a cure for spectrum issues, i don't believe those who claim to have totally beat it. i've only managed to adjust a bit. i've read mr. robison's book "look me in the eye" a few years ago, i do recommend it.

what's job redundancy?

hope you manage to find a place here.

Hey Dave welcome.

Good morning Dave and welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I enjoyed Look Me in the Eye, but I am concerned about giving the neurotypical world (who generally already believes we could overcome our "personality flaws" by simply exerting more effort to change) the mistaken notion that people with High Functioning Autism don't really have any serious problems and that we should all turn out to be wealthy nerds, building guitars for rock bands and making fistfuls of cash at electronics firms. I didn't feel it at all addressed issues of stress, anxiety, depression, bullying, social ineptitude and resulting abuse, Executive Function inabilities to plan for the future, and so on - it made life with AS seem far easier than it usually is.

The truth is, there are many more of us struggling through life with unstable employment histories and living in poverty or homelessness because of our inability to adjust to NT society's demands, than there are glorious success stories and I think its extremely vital that the world understand who we are and what we're dealing with, so they stop their (largely unconscious, but very destructive) discrimination against our handicaps. Call me cynical (because I am), but I don't see much use for "Autism Awareness" campaigns that do nothing to explain to the public just what autism is and what its like to be hobbled by it on a daily basis, while trying to navigate this neurotypical planet. Throwing money at a cause is nice, but treating your fellow humans with understanding and respect is at least equally important.

That rant wasn't too far off topic, was it?

And welcome, DavetheD

hi, dave. welcome. what sorts of things do you enjoy doing? i sing in a chorus and cook healthy stuff for me and my husband. i'm 58. there are lots of us here who no longer qualify as sweet young things.

Hi Kiprobalhato, cathylynn and all

Thanks for the warm welcome.

The job redundancy, it's not being fired exactly, but rather being let go because the company made a financial decision to save money.
To be polite, they worded it as "your position has been identified as redundant".
It was definitely a great job, and I was doing well in it (my one and only annual review was positively glowing).
But this was early 2009, during the so-called Global or World Financial Crisis, and the sales were just not coming in any more...
I can understand why it had to happen, but it was still disappointing, and the uncertainty I could have done without.

As for hobbies and interests, I guess my main one would be "trying to figure out what life is all about".
I try to learn as much as I can about various topics, and enjoy trivia of all types.
Hmmm, computers and programming were hobbies, but I'm not so sure now, as this is my occupation.
I like getting outdoors when I can, and breath in some fresh air.
I have taken up weekly yoga classes, about a year ago, to help with my stress levels - it also provides me with a small but important social outlet.
I am also a single dad to a 6 year old boy, so I end up participating in his interests too (Lego, Minecraft, toys etc...) as well as assisting his education & development.

I really appreciate the discussion on "Look Me In The Eye", I mentioned it for that very reason!
The book definitely got me thinking, and I can see the arguments made here.
It's a good point that John's experiences (especially later on) may not be typical of most: has he only found acceptance because he was considered "successful" (achieving wealth and/or infamy)?
I didn't find *all* the answers I was looking for, what I could apply to improve my own situation...
However, I was still encouraged from my read.

Thanks again for all your support!
I look forward to learning more about you all on the other forums!

Cheers

Dave

Dave,

Welcome to wp. I got my diagnosis about a year ago.. Let me stress that a diagnosis is not a life sentence. You are who you are and you will stay that way for the rest of your life. There are adaptations we have to make to this world but inside, our wiring stays the same. The book that I've read that really helped was Tony Atwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's.. The book that you spoke of sound more like it's intended to make you as neurotypical as possible.. Whereas I completely rejected that and just sought affirmation for my own experiences. This site also helped in making me realize that I'll be just fine as I am. I think being happy/successful is not about what wiring we have, but rather how we make our life and live. Both neurotypicals and autistics have been happy/sad and successful/unsuccessful throughout time. You'll be okay and we'll be here for you.