I did think for a while about whether or not to post different threads in different forums for this, but have now decided to post a single thread here, in which I ask myself a bunch of questions and answer them. Mainly because I find it easier to articulate myself that way.
Do you feel like autism is a part of your identity?
No. I understand why others do, I just don't feel the same way in my case. The way I've seen some people online talk about autism and it having a culture and such make it sound almost like a nationality of sorts. I don't feel that way at all.
Has autism impacted how others have treated you?
Yes. I have attended a specialist school exclusively for those on the autism spectrum since 2007, and although I like individual staff members and have alright conversations with other students, I don't like it. The facilities and academic opportunities are extremely below average in comparison to a mainstream school, and I feel that I myself, as well as a handful of other high functioning students, would have benefited a lot more from the facilities, resources and academic opportunities that a mainstream school provides to all of its students regardless of academic ability or aptitude. I also remember attempts to make friends in youth centres failing the moment that the people I was aiming to befriend found out about the autism; one group of people named every school in the borough until they reached mine, after which they lost interest in me.
Do you ever feel like you don't have autism at all?
Almost constantly. I get along miles better with NTs online than I do with others on the spectrum, whether online or offline, and seek as many opportunities as possible that allow me to interact with NTs. This is extremely frustrating considering my academic scenario, which effectively isolates me from the majority of NTs. I also have a very high EQ, complete self-awareness, and my empathy is fine, both on an emotional level, and a theory of mind level. A lot of the traits people have found in me that they attribute to autism, especially when it comes to learning and focus, are actually traits of ADHD, and I often feel I've been misdiagnosed with autism, and that they've actually mistaken my ADHD, which I'm also formally diagnosed with, for autism.
Are you online often?
Yes, albeit less and less these days, mostly due to political activism work.
Do you have friends?
I don't feel close enough to anyone in person to consider them friends. I do, however, have internet friends whom I am genuinely close to.
What are your future ambitions?
I am pursuing a political career.
What music do you listen to?
Slowcore, shoegaze, drone, sludge, doom, anything slow, with varied aesthetic.
Homestar Runner fan?
Yes.
30 Apr 2015, 1:25 pm
