NT newbie keen to learn a new language

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I am so happy to have found this site (after months of researching the net). I am in love with one of the most incredible human beings that have ever graced the planet. He is kind and sweet and gentle and AS. We have been together for over a year now and whilst he inspires and excites me by pushing me to discover myself and my inner values, it is a huge challenge. Our beginning has been about him letting go of his past relationship comfort zone, not considering that having his world full of unarchived memories would hurt me, hiding things just simply because it doesn't occur to him that to do so would be hurtful, the feeling of distance and dismissal that comes from not addressing issues that I feel are relevant but he avoids, spending the entire week without physically seeing each other or speaking on the phone (messaging seems to work for him as connection but I am a hands on kinda girl), my ego struggling with not being told I am beautiful, wanted, needed, appreciated. I know it sounds bad, at least from a NT standpoint, but none of this is done with malice. I feel his love in many other ways. I want to understand. He is afraid to destroy us, I am afraid of that too. We both want to make it work and that's why Im seeking all the knowledge I can. I have to be more direct in my communication when that is one of my scariest challenges. I have to build my own ego and recognise that he will not be the one to tell me all the beautiful things I feel comfortable to express in words because its not comfortable for him. We talk different languages but somehow I find his language fascinating and beautiful beyond belief. I accept who he is and recognise that this is going to be a huge learning opportunity. Any and all advice and insights will be soaked up like a sponge. I look forward to getting to chat to some of you

Hey Megsie75 welcome.

Hi RoadRatt. Thank you

Hi! I think it's really sweet and kind that you're willing to learn about aspergers/hfa for him. Any questions, just ask us. As a general rule, we all tend to be very literal on this website, as well as eager to help, so trust me when I say that you're welcome here.

Welcome

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you so much for the welcomes. I have been offline for a bit so I haven't checked in. I have a question. Im not sure if its here that I should ask but I will give it a go. Lies and omissions of truth!! My partner has been less than honest with me from the beginning. I mentioned above that he was dealing with the aftermath of a relationship. He walked in on his then wife, having sex with another man in their bed. Needless to say it ended. When we started seeing each other, it was recent. We have known each other for quite a while previous to our relationship. He wore his wedding ring initially but then took it off after a few "dates". I was ok with it at first but was very hurt when he tried to hide that he was still wearing it. He came to see me at work and slid it off when I went to another room (I am super observant and it didn't escape me at all). I text him when he left and told him that I didn't appreciate him doing that and that I would prefer he didn't hide things from me. He said sorry and we moved on. He didn't wear it again (that I know of). The first time he had me over at his house was super uncomfortable. It was like walking in to a shrine. Her stuff was everywhere including wedding photos and happy snaps, even KY jelly on the bedhead. I find out from him a few weeks later that they still shared the house. She stayed when he was away and he stayed while she was away (they both travelled for work). My son found a photo of them in his wallet. My son is only 6 and he was curiously opening it up and there it was. I waited till he had left and again text him saying it was inappropriate (it had been 3 months since we started a relationship) and he said he didn't think of any of it and was again sorry. I again accepted that. I could go on and on and on but just recently, he called me from the courts to talk to me about divorce procedures and vent basically. He told me about how his ex was demanding her engagement ring back and he told the lawyer he had no idea where it was. I asked where it was then and he said in some pawn brokers somewhere. Then a few weeks later, we were talking about something that led to the sale of gold and he mentioned that his jeweller had purchased all his gold recently but refused to take the engagement ring because he knew how much he had spent on it. I bought up that he had told me he pawned it and he said yeh sorry and that was supposed to be the end of it. Is it wrong to be still holding hurt and waning trust based on the fact that he has lied so many times and hidden things from me? I feel like I have tried so hard and he jut gets to say...oops sorry and I am the horrible one if I still feel the aftermath effects. This can be so hard