Greetings from a Plutonian

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As you can see from my profile, I have decided that since men come from Mars and women come from Venus, I must come from Pluto since I am genderfluid and I was pretty darn upset about it being demoted to dwarf planet. Might have taken me a while but now I'm over that mostly because it still technically is a planet, it's just small.

Anyway, I'm Nyx. I'm female biologically and I'm 25. Currently I am anxiously awaiting the date for my appointment with the specialists.

My NHS psychologist and psychiatrist were given a bunch of the Cambridge tests from me along with the only interviews I could get from older family members and a fistful of personal experience information. They decided to send me to adult diagnostic, though whether or not it was because they agreed it was worthwhile or because they couldn't reach a consensus, I don't know.

Personally I don't think the model of the spectrum is wide enough and even if they don't diagnose me with AS, I'll always feel that I fit into the Broader Autism Phenotype. After all, my Dad appears to be borderline Aspie, his brothers traits are stronger, their father more in line with my father, and my great uncle (elder brother) has stonger traits than Grandpa. Seems like the eldest has been a male for two generations and then we hit me. I feel masculine more than feminine, though also more genderless than masculine. The daughter of my uncle does not show any signs that I can see, but we're not around each other much.

Sorry, panic attack so might babble. Just trying to get on with what I'm doing.

Erm, what else? Already diagnosed with clinical depression, severe generalised anxiety disorder, complex post traumatic stress, and agoraphobia.

I used to think I might have borderline personality disorder and so on learning that female Aspies are usually misdiagnosed with that, I felt calmer. I'm not against BPD, it just never seemed to entirely fit. Looking into Aspergers, the biological female side, and the Aspies who favour the creative over areas like maths and science, all of this has aided me in feeling more comfortable in myself as it seems to all fit so well.

Unfortunately, there are areas of doubt because of the C-PTSD blocking memories of my childhood and my abusive mother refusing to assist, while other family members must not have paid me much attention. So in the lead up to the assessment I'm a bit of a mess, especially since a relationship crumbled due to my delayed empathy and multiple other life stressors (my live in unofficial carer will move out in a year and is currently suffering from caregivers burn out).

Finally for my intro, I want leave yet another concern. Now that I have words and understandings of why everything was so confusing and people would shout, it seems lately as if I'm almost... acting. Logically I know I'm not but on the other hand, I'm now clarifying peoples' words, allowing stims, that sort of scenario.

Anyway, if you'd like to know anything about me in particular, feel free to ask. I'm useless at these kinds of posts, as you can guess.

Hey NyxBean welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!