Hello, I was DX as a child back in 1985 approx. at the age of 2-2.5. My parents never followed up. I lived my life on the spectrum not knowing I was on the spectrum until about age 16. I always knew I was different, but didn't know why. Even the first time I heard autism, I didn't know what they meant entirely, when they said I had autism.
It wasn't until later in life after having a child, who is DX autism does it all fit together. I took an alternative route and sought out early interventions ASAP, understanding the challenges that can be presented living on the spectrum and not getting help in areas that it is needed.
History:
Sensory processing disorder, sensory avoiding. I had a very difficult time with glares, sounds, smells, and echoed thought pattern of sounds that i had heard before that would physically hurt me. With that I also heard screaming in my head.
I was a spinning, light staring, lining up toys child. In fact when I look back this was what most of my play was as a child organizing and lining things up.
In grade school, teachers would call my parents in for meetings and try to get help for me. As I would chew on clothing and hair. Complain about sensory things and often cry in class due to them. However, my parents didn't believe in autism and took it as, these concerns were attacks on their parenting. I also had no friends. I played alone. I often would watch other kids, I ate my lunch alone, I did my class work alone. I couldn't focus and fell greatly behind due to sensory overload. It was likely I was in Special Ed at some point as I do remember being placed into a small class with other kids and the teacher asking us if we knew what it was to be unique. For some reason I never put that together, until later.
Over the years, like a mutant, I lived among the NT world, pretending to be human. I have never fit in with anyone and felt exhausted from pretending to be human that I required long-term hibernating isolations. Throughout, my teens years and after some time of dealing with ODD and later a conduct disorder. Lonely and not good at making friends in my peer group, i often hung out with older people, which often got me into trouble. I knew right from wrong but truly didn't understand the full picture.
It took being pregnant to really kick in empathy. I had new emotions I had never felt before.
Till this day I live among the human world without discussing my autism. My child's ABA workers don't know, maybe just the supervisor due to the time they have spent with me. I'm sure they can see the signs, but they wouldn't bring this up as that is not socially expectable.
At work, I work in a field that I have a lot of alone time. I often do the greetings to fit in. However, it's obvious that my social skills are not up to par. I only discuss work and narrowed interest. People at work know I'm not like them but I'm so good at my job that they just except me for how I am. When I first started they tried to make contact. However, my lack of ability to connect eventually severed any further attempts by the humans.
I don't have any friends. I'm no longer married. I'm a great mom though. My child has everything they need and more. They are doing just perfect.
I have thought about seeking a confirmation of DX but I don't know.
This is the longest intro ever, I'm writing like Peter Jackson.
Excuse any typos, I'm really tired as I type this.