Not sure but...

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Hey, whoever.
This is a brand new concept for me.
I'm 43 years old.
I thought of myself as run-of-the-mill introverted. but then just the other day while browsing on an entirely unrelated topic I stumbled onto a forum where someone was talking about an SO with Asperger's and I recognized a lot of myself in that description. Since this very recent day I have been looking around and trying to recall years past. Some descriptives of Asperger's are dead on while others are far less so. So I'm not so sure if I HAVE Asperger's, but I begin to wonder and if it is true, it would answer some lifelong dilemmas.
Greetings to all... any light anyone cares to shed, I am quite willing to consider.

Hi! I only discovered AS a few months ago and I'm 39. Like you, I was chasing down a different topic on Google and surfed my way here. What an experience WP has been for me! Growing up I was distressed to have so many problems, and it was surreal to discover that almost all of them were related and common.
I am in the process of answering that question myself. It's not easy for an adult to get diagnostic mental health services but I managed to find a doctor who works with adults, and my evaluation starts today. I don't know if there's anything specific I need help with at my age, but simply answering the question of whether or not it's AS will go a long way by giving me some peace of mind for the first time ever. AS is a syndrome, not a disease, so each person experiences it slightly differently. If you read the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-IV you'll see a lot of room for variation.

I'm 43, too. I was adopted into a straight-arrow blue-collar family who felt that if you didn't want to work 40 hours/week for 40-45 years in the bowels of a paper mill (and enjoy it!) that you were a little more than a lazy good-for-nothing, with the epitomy of success being promotion to floor supervisor, among other related things (ie, do things because the clock or calendar says so and not because it needs to be done, etc).

Needless to say, that and I were 100% incompatible and as a result, I was pigeonholed as 'hyperactive' and wired on Ritalin for most of my childhood.

I was never really 'hyperactive', but I did (and still do) frustrate easily when things don't go right or when I am unreasonably prevented from following my many harmless little private interests.

I did manage to earn a BS degree ('Urban and Regional Studies' (basically non-engineering city planning) - UWOshkosh) but I have been unable to parlay it into anything resembling a life.

For the longest time, I was besides myself as to why I couldn't force myself to do everyday things like go into an office and apply for an advertised job opening (don't even THINK of me going in on a 'cold call'), say 'hello' to an attractive female, approach a store clerk for sales assistance, etc, freezing up like the 'blue screen of death' on a windows computer.

A couple of years ago, I saw an newspaper article about a rather interesting way that a high-functioning autistic was doing something and could not get over the thoughts of 'that sounds a lot like me'. After a few on-line discussions on various topics over the next year or so, a suggestion of 'Asperger's Syndrome' was made and I followed up on that, reading what I could on it.

Now, the major thoughts that I have are 'How can I overcome all of this/make this mesh with the rest of the world (so I can have a semblence of a life for the rest of my life)?' and 'Why couldn't this have been done 30-35 years ago?' <sigh...>

Mike

Welcome to WP!

I found out about aspergers when I wasn't even looking for it. I just happened upon it by accident in the newspaper.

Sounds like my parents. My dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and work where he works, in the bowels of a metal fab plant, 66 hours each week, doing the same thing for 11 hours each day where night time tempratures during the summer in the plant can be in excess of 120 degrees.

My dad says he enjoys his job thoroughly, however, that place seems like sheer hell to me. He tried and tried to get me a job there and I refused. It really dissapointed him a great deal.

I finally got a job in a different metal fab plant. I lasted all of three weeks before I got fired.

Timkibler,

Welcome to WP.

Other than introversion, which Asperger's traits do you possess? For example, a lot of people with AS have sensory issues, but I don't really have that.

Welcome, timkibler.

And ditto on the "other characteristics" question.

Hi, and my employer outed me from my ASD, or
Autistm Spectrum Disorder. I am HFA and 39.
I was and I did what I did. There was no rhyme nor
reason given to why. Alot of the folks here are
either diagnosed or aware of....their autism spectrum.

It is interesting to find that the older(26+) generation
of the "Why?" generation develop unique coping
skills. The younger generation(15-25) are involved
in the coping skills of the "Let's improve ourselves
because we know what early on!" generation.

We have alot to learn from each other, late-bloomers
in this awareness, and established bloomers who
learn more openly about themselves. So welcome
to WrongPlanet, and God-Bless your journey's
here.

Sincerely,
Ghosthunter

Hi everybody!
I guess what most caught my attention was the part about not picking up on social cues. The area this is most concerned with has been my limited experiences regarding intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I either had to have someone else outright tell me that "she likes you" "Didn't you see her eyes all over you?" or things would be going okay but then suddenly they severed the deal before it got going and I was left to ponder why. Or, the women took complete charge of the situation, and that was when I knew they were interested. I would look in the mirror and say, 'now what's the problem? You're a good looking man, you're smart, have a witty sense of humor, etc."
And sometimes I would look over the lost opportunities afterwards and it was all clear. "oh give me that chance again!"

Another perplexity that may come clearer is driving. I'm a terrible driver. It's the test. I know I would flunk it. Or if miraculously passed I would get in a wreck. This is hampering because if I want to go somewhere I have to catch a ride with someone. Then there's people who nag me about it and I can't really explain it. I try to tell them, "I can't handle a driving test. I'll get in a wreck. My mind will be wandering and something will happen, something stupid."

Similar with gainful regular employment.
I just couldn't handle the seeking of a job, the training, being denied or fired because of seeming weird or working too slow.
If I could caretake a lighthouse on a bay where the scenery is rich and I had amenities at hand and computer stuff (I write a lot) and camera, my guitar... I could do just fine. I would often long for feminine companionship but there's other ways to deal with libido.

I could think of more, but maybe later.
Maybe this is not Aspergers. LIke I said some of it felt close to me and other descriptives I feel no resemblance to. Yet, what few free online tests I've found and taken I score pretty high.
That would be a question I would like to ask: how much stock do you all put on online tests?

I'll be back with more, later.

A little background:

I heard of AS because my wife, who is finishing up her degree in social work, came across it during an internship. She brought it to my attention in January. I agreed that it bore some further exploration. After four months and several appointments arranged through the state Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (free of charge), I got my dx last week. Now it's on to some treatment (I also got an ADD dx).

I took a few online tests. Their scientific worth, of course, is limited; they rely upon one's own perceptions of self, and report only on manifestations of the disorder. Yet I admit that they seemed to be pretty accurate in my case.

It is tough finding a specialist who works with AS adults unless one lives near a research center. I was fortunate in that a psychologist who handles adult AS was only 20 miles from me.

BTW, I am a terrible driver myself.

Welcome to WP.

Just been researching ADD. That feels closer to how I am almost down the list. I am the King of Clutter. Is it possible to be predominantly ADD with AS as a smaller accessory? Would it be ADD more than AS that restricts the options of driving an automobile, much less passing a test?

For what it's worth, the driving topic has been brought up a number of times here in the past... you're definitely not the only one.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... pic&t=1846
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... pic&t=1462

Thanks!
Again, I recognized myself in a lot of those posts.
I mean, I DID drive years ago (and got the fender benders to show for it).
I think if I could get in an automatic and with a straight road with little traffic and without having to take a test, I could do okay. But it's that test-taking. I'll just as soon walk or catch rides with sympathetic souls (a good time to practice people skills?).
This is amazing.
I'm more and more tempted to go to the nearest shrink and say, "give me that Asperger's diagnosis!"

I also tried to ride a motorcycle once, when I was about 13 or 14.
Last about 30 feet.
Never got on another motorcycle since then and don't plan to.

I passed my automobile driver's test about 22 years ago. Then I got my license endorsed for motorcycles. Then I got a pilot's license about 15 years ago.

I guess I had more ability to focus when I was younger. My mind would wander at school/home/work but I somehow managed to stay alert when on the road or in the sky. Now that I'm almost 40 I find it very difficult to manage my attention when driving -- sometimes I get tunnel-vision and don't see anything but the bumper in front of me, and then at other times I go all scatter-brain and forget about the car in front of me entirely. (I quit flying almost 10 years ago.)

Right now (at my age), ADHD presents more of a problem for me than AS.