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Hi, this is my first time on this site. I have a 7 year old son who has been unofficially diagnosed with AS. He is in first grade and academically does well. Social is a different story. He has a TSS at school who helps him through the social dealings at school. I just recently learned that he is often the butt of jokes and the kids pick on him, ex: playing monkey in the middle, he is always the monkey. this is so heart-wrenching for me. He is a warm and friendly kid and he is starting to feel that he is a bit different. I don't know what to really say, just that I'm so worried about him not growing up to be a "normal" kid. Is there hope?

Glad to part of this,
Skew

Welcome - I can't comment on the benefits of therapy and so on at that age specifically thought of for aspies (no experience - hopefully someone more knowledgeable on that will post). In my case, something that helped was fighting back even though one fight was cut short and I lost the other one, it still gained me respect from other kids and was mostly left alone by bullies after that.

Another welcome.

Advice? Well i can confirm that, as pbcoll says, fighting back does gain you respect (though in my case i also had an older brother who other kids feared) - but you have to have the personality for that.

Otherwise, judging from my experience growing up in the '50s, and watching my own kids growing up in the '80s, I would say the best things someone like your son can do are (1) understand what part of his difference is drawing attention to him & try to avoid that & (2) accept that he is different to some degree & be proud of it.

By the later years of school, especially high school, i was accomplished at keeping a low profile, a skill that has stayed with me all my life & made me happier all the way.

For yourself, I think you can only be as understanding as possible - read as much as you can about AS & the shyness/autism spectrum in general.

AC

Hello,

I am also a Mum with a 7 year old Aspie - mine has been officially diagnosed now.

Getting him diagnosed was a stressful process for my son - having assessments by different health professionals, IQ tests etc.

However I am so glad now that we have the official diagnosis because we now what to do, and get support from the school.

We told Daniel about his diagnosis about 5 days ago because he has been crying a lot and wanting to know why he is different. He has also been saying he is stupid, dumb and everyone hates him. It has been heartbreading, but now he knows his diagnosis he is happier (though still coming to terms with it).

We bought him some books to help explain the diagnosis. One of his favourites was "Different like me - my book of Autism heroes". He was excited that all these famous people in history were just like him: Albert Einstin, Lewis Carrol, Hans Christian Anderson, Isaac Newton, Andy Warhol and Dianne Fossey just to name a few!

Daniel is doing well academically, but not socially ... just like your son. I bought him 'Asperger's ... What DOes It Mean To Me?', Carol Gray's 'The New Social Story Book' and 'Navigating the Social World'. These are all written especially for Aspies.

It's not an easy process, with a magic fix but having these books is a good starting point for what actually to do.

I also joing an Asperger's Support group, and talking to other parents was great.

One of the best therapies for me has been joining WrongPlanet. Before this I was crying a lot with worry about Daniel. But now chatting with Aspies on this website I realise that Daniel will be ok ... lots of challenges but ok.

I got lots of great advice on my first posting. It's in this forum called something like ... "SOme words of support for my 7 year old Aspie would be great".

My 8 year old N.T. son has been full of questions about Daniel, and he is enjoying WrongPlanet a lot. He writes under 'AussieBoy'. Daniel writes under 'UbbyUbbyUbby'

Maybe get your son membership and have him write posts. It's very exciting for them to get replies.

Good luck with your son. Keep visiting WrongPlanet .. a source of inspiration and great advice.

Smelena

I am from long ago, but the most recent seen here had made a much better social adjustment, or more correctly, the world has.

The school bully is now the problem, who will come in and shoot up the place someday, so it is being responded to. As for the behavior of first graders, check out the Kid's Crater for some tasteless joking by aspie kids.

A lot of the teens around here do post in the Kid's Crater, so they have their age groups, two, and the older kids to chat with.

An odd thing that is being noticed is, all that total social failure we are known for in the world does not happen here. We are suposed to be withdrawn, detached, blunt, rude, uncaring, but here I have been calling it Mr. Rodgers Syndrome.

I know the fears, but can report that after meeting a few teens around here you will quit worrying.

The social stuff is a skill that has to be learned, and the Kid's Crater is aspie social. The skills do transfer to the world in general. It also gives them dozens of kids that they can talk to, and share coping skills with.

Being 60 I am not smart enough to post there, it would take me a week to read up on dinosaurs and the little ones can spell all those names, and know the new ones, and who is related to who. I just lurk in the shadows and get the inside view on what new toys are cool.

Another thing I have recently noticed is with the recent growth of the Kid's Crater, some NT sibs have come in, because they want to play with the smart kids. Having a peer group does help, it opens the world.

Check the posts of Smelena, getting to know each other, her boy is the same age, same problem, and now a week later has his own account, and knows many people. KBABZ helped them and several others fit in, and is most helpfull. He is like your kid in nine years, who can talk to you about it now.

We are a clever and talented lot, and through computers seem perfectly normal. All reports say that if things like eye contact are just allowed to develop normally, 15 in our case, young adults are hardly noticable. Fighting us does not work, but we are wide open for joining.

As for the behavior of small children in general, I find South Park to be true, and gross. Here they are watched, but when those potty mouthed little brats are alone they say shocking things.

There are some wonderful parents here, and some do it your self fixers who are a problem. Do not create problems just because you kid is different. Go look at the normal kids and be glad. Yours is smarter, can direct their intelligence, and with slight acomadation at a social level will do just fine.

The whole younger crop turned out better than the older, there is not a treatment, but that did not stop people from trying. Now we have socially well adapted teens who are teaching the young. I have a lot of hope for the future. Visit the Kid's Crater, chat with KBABZ, Smelena, and put your fears to rest.

I know Mom is important, but it is good to meet the person behind Mom. So many here that answer to that name.

Welcome

Welcome to WP.

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

I am so very thrilled with the warm welcome I received from all of you. I will take all of your suggestions and try to implement them as best I can, but in the meantime, I will probably back on-line asking for your comments.

Thanks again for a warm welcome and for your support!

Skew

You will be welcome for as long as I'm here!