Hello, unknown if I'm an Aspie.

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Hi there,

I'm a 35 year old foreign lady living in the UK. I don't know if I have Aspergers or not.

Last year I was playing an online game and met a man. I was invited to his voice chat group and we eventually became friends. He told me he was an Aspie. Talking to this guy is a real highlight for me. He warned me that he may over share things, etc. But anything he said was not over sharing to me! He loves talking about things I love talking about! None of that boring small talk. We don't talk much due to our time zone differences but when we do we can talk for hours. Granted I am exhausted from it but I really do enjoy it. If there was a non romantic equivalent to a soul mate I would say this guy is mine. He gets me. It wasn't until a month ago I randomly started looking into Aspergers. I'm not sure what brought that on. I have read that Aspies love to research things. I have a time set up about two hours before bed every night since 2010 to research certain political/world/human rights/corporation topics. It's one of the only enjoyable things in my day sadly.

Anyway, I purchased the Tony Atwood book on Aspergers and have been highlighting things like crazy. It just makes sense. Also I did not know that movement issues could also be associated with this. I've been having these clumsy issues since I was a child. I always have bruises on me. My husband asks where they've come from and I don't even know. I'm always tripping over invisible obstacles, walking into walls. I have burns on both my arms from my job because I have accidentally set my arm down on hot cookware.

I went to my GP and mentioned I think this might be the case. He gave me a number to call to self refer myself but also said that it is unlikely I have it because it is only diagnosed in children. Well, I know that's not true. But he was dismissive and it really irritated me. Saying that I may have this did not come easy. I read another thread on here that getting diagnosed and getting help in the UK isn't easy. I feel that I need an official diagnoses because I don't want to just assume I have it. Also, a big part of it is that I want my husband to know that I'm not crazy. He is very caring and loving and thinks some of my quirkiness is cute but I want him to understand that this is not just quirkiness. When I have a melt down because the neighbors cigarette smoke is coming in through the cracks in our door again or noise is making me feel nauseous I want him to know that this is a real thing! A few years ago my husband mentioned some acquaintance he knew that said they had Aspergers but wasn't formally diagnosed and my husband acted like the guy was just playing Dr. Self diagnoses irritate my husband. I've not mentioned my suspicions about Aspergers to him yet. I feel like trying to get a diagnoses is going to be another uphill battle in my life and I have tons of them right now that wear me down. But then I want my husband to better understand the situation.

Anyway, here I am. And it only took fifty-three minutes to write this. Anyone else take ages to type/write anything up?

Welcome!

Yes, it also takes a lot of time for me to write something. Most of the time I have a first draft rather quickly, but then I edit it a lot. I check it for mistakes, overthink phrases and so on. I often think it's still not good enough when I finally post it, but there is a point when I just have to do it because otherwise I would never post anything. Furthermore English is not my native language, so I need even longer. But writing in English is a good practice for me.

Yep, that's me! Overthinking phrases etc. Glad I'm not the only one!

Hey Ilovesnails welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thanks for the welcome

Good evening, and welcome!

Sorry to hear your GP was less than receptive. I'm not sure where in the UK you are, but it is definitely possible to get diagnosed as an adult (one result of the Autism Act 2009 was that local areas should have clear pathways for screening, assessment, and diagnosis of adults who may have ASD: I'm paraphrasing, but websites like the NAS should have more detailed information). Fortunately I had a supportive GP, but he had no idea about the local pathways, so my strategy was to contact my local CCG (it may have been via PALS; I can't remember now!) asking for more information. They were able to tell me exactly who my GP needed to send a referral request to. I'm not sure if you've clarified whether your GP has given you the right referral information (self-referral to me sounds like it's to local mental health services, which probably won't be much help as ASD falls under learning disability in the NHS architecture, I believe), but it might be helpful for you to get specific information about your area's protocols straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

Another thing that helped me in the initial "seeking diagnosis" stage was to present my GP with a document summarising the 'symptoms' I felt I expressed (with input from family members), which I categorised into the domains of communication, social interaction, flexibility/imagination, sensory, and miscellaneous. I also outlined why I thought a diagnosis was (a) necessary, and (b) would benefit me. It made it easier to present my case and prepared me for when I had to fill in the initial screening forms for the referral pathway in my area.

Anyway, I hope things improve for you and you enjoy your time here.