New, a bit scared :-/

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Hi, I'm a 45 year old female in the UK.

Never considered that I might have autism, but have always known that something wasn't right with me. Began investigating the condition, particularly how it manifests in females, and suddenly it all started to feel a bit too familiar. My eldest son is clearly not neurotypical, but NHS assessment has been an ongoing problem for many years now and he doesn't have a diagnosis. He's been badly let down by CAMHS. He should have been referred to a developmental paediatrician really, but I was too stressed and confused when he was young.

Points:

I've always been asocial - criticised constantly at school for being 'antisocial'. I avoid contact with others apart from my husband and two sons. I don't even like seeing others in the street. Feel as though I'm a different species.

Always felt 'different' and as though I have never fitted in with everyone else. Felt 'weird' and a 'misfit' my whole life. Have been accused of being 'aloof'.

Hate being touched.

Need routines. Like rules, but hate authority figures. Expect others to follow the rules and become confused and disturbed when they don't. Dislike unpredictability.

Prefer animals to people.

Unemotional and logical. Can't understand why others are so social and emotional.

Struggle with sounds and bright lights. Can't hear properly if there's noise in the background. Feel agitated and stressed if there's too many sounds or particular types of sounds. Can't listen to the radio or music sometimes, even though I want to. Always feel too hot. Wear comfy clothes all the time. Don't possess anything nice or dressy, including shoes. Tend to be tomboyish.

I keep slightly unusual animals as pets. I'm obsessed with animals, mainly cats and invertebrates.

Constantly fidget, bite nails, chew the inside of my cheek and wriggle my feet. Like to talk out loud to myself and make up little songs and phrases to keep saying as it makes me feel better. Often feel silly and childish.

Get taken advantage of in friendships. Used to have one to one friendships, but have chosen to self isolate now as it's too stressful and I keep encountering problems. Can't understand others or what a friendship means to other people.

Am sometimes accused of 'lacking empathy' and being too blunt. Have a good sense of humour. Am very cynical. Absolutely hate small talk and can't understand why people just keep talking all the time without actually saying anything.

Can manage eye contact with familiar people, but struggle with others. I don't look at people when I'm out. Feel as though I'm putting on an act - try to appear friendly and communicative, but find it tiring and frustrating.

I'm actually more friendly than I sound

I'm hoping to be assessed next month, but services are bad for adults in the UK, so I'm investigating the best way to go about it.

It sounds like you'll fit in pretty well here. Welcome

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey arachnids welcome.

Welcome! Sorry to hear you have been having issues with your son's treatment. Have you been able to find any local support? You seem to be in an unusual situation - it's usually kids whose assessments go smoothly and adults who have to wade through bureaucratic murk in the UK!

I hope your assessment goes well. I am all too familiar with the nightmare that is accessing assessment and diagnostic services in the UK as an adult (I am actually still waiting on an assessment, but fortunately my university are supportive and happy to accommodate me without an official diagnosis).

Thank you for the welcomes

Jimothy, he was to and fro to CAMHS several times over a 10 year period, but only ever saw either social workers or a nurse. We were fobbed off in spite of his problems. He was just about coping at school, so nobody seemed interested. Terrible struggle for us all though.

Hello and Welcome...!

: )

Welcome to wrong planet!