hey people

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my name is Greg, 32 yrs old.

. Basically been dealing with these symptoms for a long time. Only diagnosed with ADHD when younger. Think my Dad may have it. Not sure, we never talk to each other.
. Looking for guidance and insight. Especially in relationships.

(keeping short). Always been an outsider. Numerous obsessions, many highly repetitive like jungle/electronic music. Love physics. Can tell you how the LHC works in great detail but can't find a girlfriend. Socially isolated, most of the time. Depression, high ego, etc. Carefully tamp down everything to get on in world. Often take things literally, prone to abstract phrases. Very anxious as I type this.
.
. nowadays I farm. I love it. Somehow I am making a living out of it after traveling around the country for years.
. Geez. You know, can't afford most things, let alone people to "diagnose" or help.
.
. Would like to have a family and such someday. Sometimes seems impossible, and I feel extremely alone.

. Do I have this? I don't know. Am I an odd duck and a black sheep? Sure feels like it.
. Whatever the case maybe I can learn more here and empathize with others. Thanks y'all

I don't know if you have it (ASD). You have not provided nearly enough information for me even to make an educated guess.

Hey Greg welcome. I hope you find what you're looking for!

Welcome Greg ....
It is important to give that thing you got a name.
There are several online tests which could provide you with more insight.
Under General Autism Discussion -> Set of Scientific tests ........

In my particular case I had a formal diagnosis because I tend to rationalize a lot. It was only a confirmation of what I strongly suspected.
Also, this forum doesn't offer cures. I gain from it because I learn a bit more about myself.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

. I took the online test and it was above the "ads" norm in all categories. I don't want to believe it. I've always refused to believe anything is "wrong" with me.

. Just curious. Confused. Whatever happens, I would rather not tell anyone about it.

. Situations pile up, accusations, sometimes behind my back, so frustrating. You know, a person can go on for days about all the details and oddities. I can always try to be better. I very much fear being labeled or using things as an excuse.
. I can't be boxed in you know!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Its taken several years since my initial suspicion to have the illusion of understanding myself.
Once I accepted the possibility of Aspergers, I felt like all my life had been spent looking for the wrong answers in the also wrong places. This gave my life a foggy feeling. It's still foggy and it will always will be, but now I can finally begin explaining myself to myself.
For me it has been worth it.