Hello! Husband is an Aspie

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Joined: 5 Nov 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

05 Nov 2015, 8:16 am

Hello! I'm trying to find out more information and how I can help support my husband who has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. After 5 years of marriage, I was about to throw in the towel due to frustration, stress & anxiety, lying, non-communication, and loneliness. I then spoke to a nurse who worked in this area and she said it sounded like my husband had Aspergers. As he & I began researching this further and getting clinical help it was apparent that he identified exactly to Aspergers and I was living the exact life of someone who was living with a spouse of aspergers. I'm soo happy we have answers now, but it just opens up a whole realm of questions and uncertainties. But I think it is extremely enlightening and a step forward in our marriage. Especially with 3 young kids.

Christina

Fnord
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05 Nov 2015, 9:28 am

What are your questions?

Please keep your questions simple, concise, and to-the-point, as I most of us here are aspies; and we may tend to answer a question as it is stated, and not necessarily as it was intended.

YippySkippy
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05 Nov 2015, 9:36 am

I just want to point out that lying is not a symptom of Asperger's. What does your husband lie about?

krystenia
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05 Nov 2015, 9:44 am

Well yes I'm sure its a human issue. Everyone lies, but its more of the little things to avoid conflict/drama. He doesn't provide the whole story or provides only enough info that is needed. Lots of things are left out and not provided. Sometimes if I can tell he is not telling the truth I will dig deeper with the questions but that's not always possible. I have to ask the "right" questions to get the information, because he either forgets or thinks its not important, but in a different perspective it is. Like dates times to events, important info conveyed, important messages from our children's teacher, etc. He just prefers to not talk. We can go on not talking for days if I let him. I don't know who he works with, what he does, or anything about anything if I'm not there. It's frustrating.

Christina

YippySkippy
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05 Nov 2015, 1:23 pm

Oh. That doesn't sound like he's lying at all. Lying involves intent to deceive. Leaving out details because you didn't realize the other person wanted or needed them is not lying. That's just a communication difficulty, which absolutely IS part of Asperger's.
Sorry if I seem to be stuck on semantics. Your husband likely has a similar preference for precise language. Especially if it involves whether or not he's a liar.