Having autism and schizophrenia

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I rejected myself in a way which may hate selfHello everyone, my name is maddie. I was diagnosed with two disorders. I am very conscerned with my autism and how it reacts with my schizophrenia. I would like to hear advise from others with autism regarding the things which happened the past year with me. I used to create stories in my mind about a young man with red hair. He was like an escape from reality because I could.not relate. I saw qualities that were like me in him. I couldn't see them in myself as much as I could see them in him. I began researching, and I would try to find attributes like the character. hoping that maybe Id find something about myself.it caused a lot of stress. I feel like their still missing from me. I began being paranoid, I would think that someone was trying to get me. every single thing that would remind me of him would scare me. beginning in the year I began hearing a voice that potrayed him. I begin to trust it. I allowed myself to become intimate with it. it only became disastrous. more voices came. now they're telling me its all my fault. that I was stupid for trusting it. they tell me that there spiritual beings. they're always speaking in telling me that I'm not who I am. but I know the boy has something to do with me